


am i the villain?

by The_Cursed_Blade



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Dadza adopts a new child, Derealization, Hurt/Comfort, Is Ranboo a villain?, Lies, Manipulation, Memory Loss, Ranboo rambles to himself a lot, Secret Messages, canon adjacent, techno is a reluctant uncle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:22:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Cursed_Blade/pseuds/The_Cursed_Blade
Summary: wouldn't you think you were the villain if you kept being told that you were one by a voice in your head?  wouldn't you think that your actions are hard to explain if there wasn't something bad happening behind the scenes?but what do you do? who do you go to?
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 83
Kudos: 416





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to a fic that started rattling around inside of my skull after watching too much Ranboo content. It's going to be adjacent to some of the events of the main canon, but for all intents and purposes this fic starts before Tommy and Tubbo's showdown with Dream and will divert sort of from it.
> 
> If Ranboo or any other CC finds this and wants it taken down, I'll do so no questions asked, just as an FYI.

He was pacing.

Right, he is pacing.

How long had he been pacing?

It's dark now. What had the sky looked like last? Why are his hands wet? Why does it smell like-

Ranboo looks down at himself, his hands held out in front of him. He takes stock of everything about himself. His suit is fine, nothing torn, but his hands and his sleeves, they are stained blood red. He feels some of the blood drip off of his hand, letting him know that the blood is extremely fresh. He spins in a circle, looking for more splatters of blood in the snow. He can see clearly in the dark, but there's nothing past the place that he had been pacing. He walks up to the top of the hill, but there's nothing there either. The only blood on the snow was the stuff that he could explain or had seen. Worse still, there are no dead animals in the area. Nothing relatively harmless to explain why his hands are coated in blood. He doesn't hurt, so he doesn't think that there are cuts on his arms or hands. This hill is familiar, a place right near his own place near Techno and Phil's house out here in the snowy tundra. But there's still no explanation for where all of this blood has come from.

"Oh you've really done it this time, Ranboo," he says out loud. "You need to tell someone. What if you've hurt Techno? What if you've hurt Phil? Either of those means that Techno is going to strangle you or worse. Probably worse. You need to check. How are you going to do that? If it is you that hurt Techno or Phil and you knock on the door, you're dead. If you pretend you know nothing and they know, and you don't run away, you're dead. But you just put up walls for the house. How can you pick up and move now?" In a fit of anxiety, Ranboo leans down and picks up some snowy plants, dying them red immediately. Remembering his hands, he drops the plant again and sighs as he looks around himself. He at least has to go home and that means he has to go in the direction of Phil and Techno's house. He could stop by.

Yeah, he could just say that he was passing through and wanted to check on them.

But the blood.

He thinks as he clambers over the hill, hands reaching to almost grab this and that, but he stops himself from smearing more blood across the landscape. There also just isn't time to deal with that. He doesn't know how long this event at Techno's is going to take and he'd rather them see that he came straight there when he realized what was going on. But at the top of the hill, he looks down at the house there. The lights are flickering and he sees two shadows move across the windows. Both Phil and Techno are home. But there's nothing that seems wrong there. No blood anywhere that he can see from here.

"If I did something to them, they'll kill me. I could stop and wash myself off, pretend like nothing happened. What if it gets worse? What if I do something worse? Techno and Phil haven't cared before about things I've admitted to before. If they do help me, I'll just make them something cool as payment or owe them a favor. Of all the people I know, they'd probably be the best to owe favors to. I already owe them a lot. I'll just add more to what I do for them in the future. Right. Yeah. That-that seems fine. I can do that. They're not going to make me do anything too bad, right?" And even as he questions it, he's already walking down the hill, getting closer to the house. He walks quietly around the front of him and then up the stairs to the front door. The light from the inside of the house baths the steps of the house in a dim glow. He can hear Phil laughing inside and the sound of something being sharpened.

That makes him pause again, but he shakes his head and raises his hand to knock on the door. Then he stops again and he looks at his hands. "Uh, Phil! Techno! Anyone home? I need...help?" He shouts the words, eyes closed afraid of what might come next. There's a pause in all the noise and then he hears the floor creak as someone approaches the door. It opens a sliver and he opens his eyes to see the red of Techno's eye looking back at him.

Then the door opens further and the pigman sighs as he looks at the half-enderman on his doorstep. "Hullo, Ranboo. I was going to ask why you were here, but I think the bloody hands are explanation enough. He pulls the door the rest of the way open and moves out of the way so that Ranboo can get into the house. "So what'd you kill out there? Or is it a who?"

Ranboo steps in. "Ah, yeah. I-I don't know." He looks up to see Phil sitting at the table. Phil's up and out of his seat in a second and gathering things from cabinets in the kitchen. "I just...I know my memory is bad. Everyone knows my memory is bad. But this wasn't normal. I normally wake up somewhere familiar enough like my house or some places that I've been before at a reasonable hour, but I was just...I was over in the field and my hands were bloody and this wasn't like any other time. I didn't know what to do. I thought you might be angry, but then I thought that I might have hurt one of you guys and I like you guys. And I don't want to hurt anyone I like."

Techno closes the door and moves back to the couch where his tools are laid out. He settles down on the couch. "Sometimes you hurt people you like, it's just how things are in the world." He returns his attention to his tools and his weapons, cleaning them off and taking care of them.

"Techno, mate," Phil says as he turns on the water in the sink and waves Ranboo over, "You think of violence just as a conversation. And I speak that language, you speak that language. But Ranboo's a kid...probably. Hurting people isn't something that he's going to take lightly. He's not like the two of us. He hasn't fought in as many wars as we have."

Ranboo walks over into the kitchen and then follows Phil's instructions to clean off his hands. Techno has his eyes on his sword as he cleans off the blade from the last time he was out killing monsters that were lurking in the area. "My point still stands," he mutters. Phil rolls his eyes and focuses on turning over Ranboo's hands as they get rid of the blood. And when they're clean, he pauses to really look at his hands.

"Well, that's weird," Phil says, "I would have thought that you would have had wounds for how fresh this blood looked. But there's nothing. You really did a number on something else out there. Now give me the suit coat. We can get that washed and cleaned too."

"I know my memory is bad, but I couldn't find anything near me that could explain this and I don't blackout for that long. And I haven't hurt anyone before during those periods...that I can remember, that anyone has told me." Ranboo pulls off his jacket and hands it to Phil before drying off his hands. And after that, all he can do is stare at them. He can still feel the blood there, even if it's been rinsed off.

"When can you last remember and who did you last see?" Techno asks; his eyes on Ranboo now. Phil's putting away the things he had pulled out to take care of the wounds that he had assumed would be there, but he meets Techno's stare, concern obvious on his face before he walks between them, heading down to the other floor to toss the jacket into the pile of bloodied things that need to be cleaned.

"I saw, uh, Tubbo, Jack, maybe some other people in Snowchester. And I passed by some people in the area near where L'manberg isn't...but I can't remember anyone in particular because I didn't stop to say hi. I was busy trying to fix the community center." Ranboo has his eyes closed as he tries to recall the day before. He remembers the sun was setting, but he knows that a whole day has passed since then. He made it to his mines and had been in there in the middle of the night and it's obviously not morning now. But what could have happened in the mine? "I went to my mine after that, but there was no one else down there." He shakes his head, opening his eyes again and trying to focus on anything else. His eyes land on the white wall and he stares through it. Something in his head wants to take a piece of the wall and just hold it, but that's not a polite thing to do in someone else's home.

"I don't think Tubbo has anything to do with it," Phil says as he climbs back up onto the main floor and stands at the table near the kitchen. "Kid's made some bad choices, but most of them haven't been around trying to terrify the shit out of one person, just questionable choices in being a government."

That sentence makes something in the back of Ranboo's mind remember a feeling and he pauses and looks in his pocket for his notebook. He finds it there and opens it up, going back a little ways back. "He did try to do some necromancy or witch doctor stuff to try and help me remember things at one point. That wasn't a good day."

"What?!" Phil stands up straighter, eyes wide and focused on Ranboo.

"He dropped an anvil onto a block of iron just above my head to try and help, but it just made my ears ring." Ranboo's already flipping back to the latest entries, but they all line up with what he can remember at the moment. Nothing is missing as far as he knows. But there is a lot in there that makes Tubbo a major source of stress for him.

"Told ya," Techno snorts as he focuses back on his weapon. "That kid was bad news as soon as he got to be in power. He's not gettin' any better."

Phil leans back on the counter, sighing. Ranboo looks at him and then looks at Techno. The two of them aren't looking at him. Wherever they are, they're far away. When the silence continues, Ranboo rubs his arm and starts to step towards the door. "I don't want to cause more problems, I should have just dealt with it on my own and not-"

"Nonsense," Phil says.

"You potentially trying to harm us is something you should warn us of. Just because we're not the warmest of neighbors doesn't mean we'll just ignore you when there's something big going on. Especially when it can involve us if people start looking for you." Techno has put down his weapon and starts tucking away all the things he was using to take care of the tools.

There's a lull and Phil's the next one to talk. "Ranboo, do you hear voices?"

Ranboo tenses. He's heard a voice. That one single voice.

Admitting that fact and who that voice sounds like seems like a bad move here. So he shakes his head. "Not that I can remember. And I do a lot of talking to myself, so you would think I would remember another voice interrupting me."

Techno and Phil share a glance and Phil starts to open his mouth to say something when Techno stands up. "We aren't-"

Phil steps past Ranboo towards the couch. "We are. He's a kid. And like you said, if he does something they'll come up this way. It's about keeping us safe too."

Techno stares down Phil and eventually gives up and starts moving his weapons and tools off the couch and carrying them up to the second floor. "Then this is your problem and not mine," Techno says over his shoulder. "Bye!"

Ranboo looks at the ladder to the second floor and then at Phil. "I didn't mean to start an argument for the two of you."

"It's not an argument. Techno just doesn't want to get involved with it, but I'm here for you at least and I'm sure Techno will realize that helping you is worth it. You're a good kid and whatever's happening, we can deal with it. Don't worry."

Instead of sending Ranboo to his little house nearby, Phil tells Ranboo to sleep on the couch in here today. He'll stay up with him to make sure that he's staying in the house and not going outside. Ranboo can only listen to what Phil says. Because if he tries to focus anywhere else, he can hear a song playing in the distance, something that he was certain he tucked away in his own home, something that shouldn't be heard here when the direction of the sound is miles and miles away.


	2. Chapter 2

He isn't pacing. Why would he be pacing?

He hadn't gone anywhere or do anything that would make him want to pace, had he?

He sits up, expecting to be in the bed in his newly renovated home, but he's surprised to see that he is inside Techno's house. He pushes back through the memories and when nothing there comes forward to help him, he grabs his notebook out of his pocket, flipping to the last pages with writing on them. Reading back through the events from the other day makes him anxious. He could remember Phil being nice and Techno being...Techno, but the memory of the blood is completely gone. He gets up off the couch and realizes suddenly that there's someone else in the house, awake and sitting at the table.

Techno leans back in his chair, staring out the window with a mug in his hands. It's not steaming, so Ranboo can only guess that Techno has been down here for a while at this point. Techno looks at Ranboo and gives a small wave. "Hullo."

"Uh, hi Techno," Ranboo says as he slips the notebook into his pocket, "Phil told me-"

"To stay here last night. I'm aware. He and I chatted about it after you were asleep. We came to an agreement about it. Having you nearby means knowing where you go. Phil and I will take shifts with you. Wherever you go, we go. We'll make sure that nothing unsavory is happening to you when you're alone. And hopefully, we can figure out what the fuck you've done."

"But there are places-"

"No, you asked for help. This is the help. And at this point, I'm not comfortable letting you out of sight anyway. If there are things you didn't want us to know about, then you shouldn't have come to us." Techno stands up, putting his hands flat on the table and staring at Ranboo. Techno hunched like that looks like a predator about to strike.

Ranboo takes a step back and nods his head. He can only think about how there are so many piles of dirt outside that he could move around. Doing that sounds pretty relaxing actually. "So you're on this shift?"

"Yeah." Techno relaxes and moves his mug to the sink.

"Cool, cool, cool. Can we go to my place and pick some stuff up?" Ranboo takes a step towards the door. He needs a new jacket at the very least before he goes about the things that he wants to do today.

Techno shrugs. "I'm just your shadow. You don't have to ask for permission." He grabs his cloak and ties it around himself, concealing the several weapons that are strapped to him.

"Right." Ranboo shuffles to the door and opens it. Out of forced habit, as soon as he is out of the house, he closes the door. He immediately remembers that there's someone that's going to actually follow him and he opens the door again to an unamused Techno staring at him through the eyes of the mask that he's just put on. The skull is pale white and Ranboo steps back again at the sight of it. Not that Techno wearing that skull scares him, but there are memories, or at least impressions still in his head, of the skull on a dark night full of explosions. "Sorry." He walks down the stairs, letting Techno close the door of the house. When he gets behind Techno's house, he picks up and moves a pile of the earth, rearranging it in a way that makes little sense to Techno, but Techno watches from afar as Ranboo nods at the decision before continuing to walk to the house that he had just finished. The house is an improvement as far as Techno is concerned. It makes it look a little less like someone has cobbled together a makeshift home behind his house and that Ranboo has actually built himself something. Techno walks in and then descends down into the basement where Ranboo is standing a group of chests, pulling things out and putting them into his bag.

Ranboo has to stop and think several times about the work that he wants to do that day, nothing too big, just continuing his work on the community house near the remains of L'manberg. The area has been neglected and he wants to do something good there. Once he's satisfied, he stands up and turns around to nod at Techno before he climbs the ladder and leaves his house. And as the two walk across the landscape, heading towards the portal, Techno doesn't ask any questions. That's what makes Ranboo more nervous. It's almost like he's waiting for the questions the whole time that Techno follows him. Instead, he's got a killer as his shadow.

He's done nothing wrong, so he shouldn't be too worried. And he hasn't started a government, which might be the only thing that Techno would care about at this point.

Whatever happened the other day was just a fluke. Everything is okay. Ranboo lets his thoughts ramble on as he walks across the precarious bridges through the nether realm to make it to the portal that leads to the area where almost everyone lives or lived at one point. When he steps through, he walks down the stairs to where the walls that he had put up the other day are still waiting for more work to be done. He gets to work, using some pictures he took from the museum's recreation of the community house to help him figure out where to put the pieces. It's slowly coming together, but when Ranboo runs out of materials, he walks out of the community house. He hears steps behind him and almost jumps out of his skin to see Techno following close behind.

"...did you actually forget that I was with you?" Techno snorts when Ranboo relaxes and adjusts his tie.

"No! Of course not! You were just so quiet, I wasn't expecting you to be right there." He quickly looks away from Techno and starts walking again.

"Sure, sure," Techno says with a chuckle as he follows the half-enderman.

Somewhere during the afternoon, Techno disappears and instead of the pigman, he finds a Phil lounging under a tree while he cuts down others to get more wood for the community center. Ranboo doesn't say anything. Instead, he focuses on the work, ignoring the whisper of music at the edge of his mind. It's been there, getting louder as the day went on. He didn't see the disc in his chest in the morning, he knew that much. And as much as he wanted to go check his panic room, he didn't want Phil to see it. So instead of running for the room, Ranboo keeps his focus on the work until the sun starts to set. When he's collected the planks he wants to drop off at the community center, he walks back to the spot where Phil was sitting, reading a book that he had brought with him. And he finds the man asleep under the tree, the book on his chest and his hat pulled down over his eyes.

"If I do this and he catches me, I'll get in trouble," Ranboo mutters, "But how is that music playing here?" Ranboo stands there for a second more and then darts through the woods towards the place on the beach that hides his panic room. He's at the edge of the water and about to take a breath to jump into the water when he hears Phil yelling his name. The music crescendos so loud it almost drowns out the sound of Phil yelling. Ranboo looks over his shoulder and then he steps into the water and slides through the entrance of his panic room. The dark room hasn't gotten any better. It had always been unsettling, but he leans down and finds the jukebox that he had left on the floor. The disc pops up and out of it when he presses the button on the corner and that worries him.

That worries him a lot.

That had been in his chest at home very recently. How had it gotten here?

He tucks the disc into his bag and then climbs up and out of the room, the silence refreshing. He can hear Phil at the edge of the forest and he stands up and out of the water, holding his bag tightly in his hand. His hand burns from the contact with the water, but he'd rather feel that than get caught in his panic room, a place he hated now. Phil spots him and walks down the hill. "What were you doing so far away from all the trees that you were cutting down?"

"Uh...I got distracted by something," he says, "I thought I heard something, so I came over here to investigate, but there was nothing here."

Phil looks carefully at the wet half-enderman. "And why are you damp?"

"I-I fell."

The look that Ranboo sees in Phil's eyes tells him enough about how the man feels at this moment. There's suspicion behind those eyes. But it relaxes after a moment. "Isn't that hurting you?"

"Y-yeah. Just a little." The two of them walk through the forest back towards the community building, Phil offering him a spare rag to wipe off the water from his hands and arms, wherever skin was exposed. Ranboo drops off all the materials that he wants to use in the next couple of days to work on the building and then the two of them walk through the portal and into the nether. The warmth of the hellish region burns off any moisture that was on Ranboo and he feels more at ease. He's still not certain that Phil believed his excuses, but at the very least, the music has stopped. There's no sound playing right now. He looks down into his bag where he's stashed the disc and it's still there, nestled right next to his notebook.

In the artic tundra, Phil tells Ranboo to get anything from his house that he uses regularly. They've made up the couch as a spare bed for him while they're observing him. Ranboo walks across the field to his own house. He opens the door and then sets down his bag. He looks around the house, catching a glimpse of Phil outside, but the older man is looking up at Techno, the two of them are discussing the day, checking notes about what happened.

And Ranboo uses that moment. He moves the table where he crafts things and ducks down into the basement and then he digs up a specific hole in the ground. He opens a chest down there, tucking the disc away and then covering the chest up, not bothering to look at the note that lays in the bottom of the chest. No one can know that it's there but him. He'll make a note of it when he's in Techno's house. The half-enderman rearranges the things in his house and he pulls out extra clothing, some of his other precious items before he leaves the house, walking back through the snow with all the things that he thinks he'll need for the time being. Phil and Techno are tense, the two of them in the middle of something, so Ranboo pauses in the snow. He looks around the landscape, spotting an enderman out in the distance. When he locks eyes with the creature, it gives a nod, which Ranboo returns before looking back at Phil and Techno.

"I told you to keep a good eye on him," Techno said, "You just admitted to taking a nap."

"He was just cutting down wood! And I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

Techno rubbed his forehead and then looked at Ranboo. "Where did you go while Phil was asleep?"

"I think I saw him start to sleep when I was working on planks. And when I'd finished them, I thought I saw something out in the woods and then I heard something crash into some trees closer to the water. And I went to go look. But when I got out there, I didn't find anything and then I got...startled by a rabbit and fell into the water." 

"I told you!" Phil shouts. "He was just embarrassed. It's fine! He didn't do anything or go that far. And there was no blood. And even if there had been, I would have been able to track down who or what he had harmed and we could have learned something."

"I'll take the longer shifts," Techno says as he heads back inside, "So you can get all the sleep you want." He's grumbling as he walks back inside.

Phil rolls his eyes and then walks up the stairs and into the house. Ranboo, witness to this argument, but barely a participant follows them inside. Techno has a stew going on the stove and he's got three bowls, three placemats, three everything waiting for them. Ranboo rubs his arm after he puts his things onto the couch where there are blankets and a pillow laid out for him.

"What are the two of you doing out here now?" Ranboo asks as he looks at the art on the walls. He's been inside of Techno's house before, of course, but never has he really taken the time to appreciate the eclectic art on the walls. "I mean now that L'manberg is gone."

There's a silence and Ranboo doesn't look away from the painting, maybe a self-portrait, of Techno in the woods.

"Oh you know," Phil says, "Just chilling, finding some new project that we're interested in. Nothing serious right now."

Ranboo turns around and nods, smiling at Phil and Techno. Inwardly, he feels guilty about the lie still. But there was a good reason for that lie. If that lie wasn't there, then Phil and Techno would know about the voice, Dream's voice, that had told him over and over that he was the one that had destroyed the community center, urged him to remember when he couldn't. He didn't want to go back there, didn't want to know what the voice knew that he couldn't remember.

As long as Phil and Techno could tell him where he went when he wandered, he would have a clue as to whether or not the voice was telling the truth about anything that was going on.

"While you two were out, I managed to sit down and make some headway on that book of Myths that you found for me, Phil-"

"God you're such a nerd," Phil says as he sits down at the table, bowls full of stew. Ranboo sits next to him and listens to the two of them talk, adding only when they ask him questions.

\---

Techno is awake in the middle of the night, the book in his hand not enough to capture his attention anymore. He rubs his eyes, trying to keep sleep away. And that's when he notices it. Ranboo is standing in the living room, both of his eyes wide open and the blankets refolded on the couch. He isn't looking at Techno, the door, or anything else that would make sense. No, the tall kid is looking at a corner of the house. Techno tries to puzzle his way through what could be there. And then he watches as Ranboo starts to move. Techno's gear is all on and he stands up to slowly follow behind Ranboo. He sounds like an enderman right now, growls and snaps, nothing that sounds like usual language there.

Techno follows Ranboo across the landscape and he quickly realizes that the kid is taking him back in the direction of the most populated area of the server. When he gets to the edge of the water, he pops down one of the small boats and starts sailing off into the distance. Techno doesn't even bother with the boat, instead pulling his trident off his back. He jumps into the water and then launches himself out again with the magic of the trident. When Techno lands with a splash, he's still far enough behind Ranboo that the sound doesn't even reach him.

Across the landscape, Techno follows Ranboo until they're on the other side of all the destruction that is L'manberg. The kid walks so confidently for someone that's sleepwalking. But that's when Techno sees it. The kid isn't sleepwalking. He's seeing everything. He's been watching Techno too, looking back over his shoulder at him. And Techno almost stops when he realizes this. And then he hears the splash. This is back around the area that Phil had described the other day. Techno darts around the hills of sand to find Ranboo in the water, slipping under and then disappearing. Techno walks over to the spot and he hears music coming out of the area below him, but he doesn't say anything.

Whatever this room is, Ranboo was keeping it a secret. And that only makes Techno more determined to keep Ranboo near him. The kid is turning out to be a liar.

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles," Techno huffs. Below him, he hears soft muttering. "And of course the kid that could be causin' me problems is a near mystery." He sits on the sand and looks out at the water, the soft moonlight playing off the surface. The music, below too soft to be a distraction or nuisance, continues until the morning light comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) It is 4 am right now and not only could I not stop thinking about this story, but I couldn't sleep. So you get an update right now. I know not a ton really happens in this, but there's some setup that needed to happen.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ranboo comes to, he's horrified to feel the wind on his face and smell the ocean. That's not right at all. He knows that that's not right, but he can't recollect where he was supposed to be. He looks around frantically and sees Techno sitting next to him. The mask is on and pulled down his face, but Ranboo can feel Techno's stare.

"That's quite the room you've got down there, Ranboo," Techno says. And there's anger in those words. It's frustration and fury wrapped into one.

"I-It's the panic room that I built before you and Phil and D-Dream destroyed L'manberg," Ranboo said, "I woke up here once or twice around the time of that, but I thought I was done with that. I haven't been here in weeks."

Techno narrows his eyes. "Then what about yesterday? You didn't come in here looking for something while Phil was asleep?"

"No! Of course, I remembered where the panic room was because it's the only thing that I've forced myself to remember about the area in detail, but I came over to this area to work and I didn't go in the room-"

The blade of Techno's blade was under Ranboo's chin, the sharp metal just barely pressing into the flesh of his neck; the barest of cuts in Ranboo's skin and a bead of blood on his skin. "Don't lie to me, Ranboo. I already think that you're keepin' things from us that are goin' to cause big problems for Phil and I. And Phil's happy to ignore those, but I can't. So what are you keepin' from us?"

Ranboo's hands quiver as he holds them up in the air. "Is it fair to say that I don't know? Because I don't know. I've always had gaps in my memory, but they could be explained away. And then I came here and it started getting worse. I wasn't just missing things, I was doing things when I wasn't aware. And that was fine for a little bit because most of the time it meant that I was just messing with my own inventory, not doing anything. Things...got worse. Especially after you decided to destroy L'manberg. The community house being destroyed by me? I have no proof that it was me. I can't say that it was or that it wasn't. I only know that I think it was me. I think that I may have helped Dream with some of the TNT, but I also can't confirm that either. The proof is just things that I've found left around, notes I've left myself. I'm doing something. And I feel like it might involve..."

"Stop," Techno says, lowering the blade, but not putting it away. "Even if it involves him, that doesn't explain the blood. I checked the landscape, there's nothing there. There were no corpses. Getting to that point without having touched anything would be amazin'. So let's start with some basics that I feel like I'm missing. This room, this is your panic room?"

"Yes."

"And have you gone into this room because of panicking?"

Ranboo thought about it. "No, actually. The only times that I can remember coming here, I didn't start panicking until I was in the room."

"You ran across a large swath of land to get to this room while you appeared to be sleepwalkin'. You spent hours in there, talking to no one while we couldn't destroy a single part of the walls. and you don't think to question that part of the situation? Are you sure that you're not just havin' panic attacks and that maybe this one time you've fucked up?"

"But where would the blood have come from, Techno?"

"I'm not saying I have all the answers, but we all gotta start somewhere. Sometimes the simple answer is all it takes. The other simple answer would just be to blame Dream for everything that's going on. He's the man in charge around here and you didn't start having major issues until Dream invited you here."

Ranboo shakes his head. "It's gotta be something else since I was already dealing with this before."

Techno stares out at the water and then stands up. "Either way, let's head home," Techno says, "Don't forget about the disc that you've left down there." The man in the mask starts to walk. Ranboo dives into the water and pulls the disc out of the jukebox in the panic room. But when he turns it over, he realizes that this isn't...his? He tucks it away into his bag, not saying a word more about it as he dries off his exposed skin. This isn't the time to talk more. But he does jot down some notes about the day while they walk back to the portal and then he stores the notebook away for the walk back through the Nether.

Techno doesn't say a word, but Ranboo hears the yawn. He's dragged Techno out here and that guilt sits on his shoulders until he hears Techno clear his throat.

"Whatever it is that's happenin' with you, it's not actually a problem for us to deal with, so don't act like you're ruinin' my life," Techno says over his shoulder. Ranboo tries to shake the guilt away, but it's lodged into his head, but he tries to walk more confidently, look a little happier about the situation. At least he has people that are willing to help him and he can't forget that fact. This would all be so much tougher if there weren't people that cared about him.

When they're back in the snow, Ranboo can't help but look at the landscape again. His eyes dart over it, looking for a shape that might be out of place, but there's nothing unusual happening out there. "Have you heard any reports from other people about someone getting hurt?"

Techno doesn't look back. "No. But I've made it part of the plan to not get involved in anything right now. So if you hurt someone, then we'll only know if they show up on our doorstep looking to blame us." 

Ranboo stops. The stress of that situation tears at him and he freezes as the edges of his vision start to fade. Techno pauses and looks back at him. He sees the look on Ranboo's face and walks back over, putting a hand on the kid's shoulder. "We're not going to let anything happen here. You're safe." Techno says the words softly, but then he feels Ranboo start to shake and pulls his hand back. Techno blinks and Ranboo is gone.

Techno huffs. "I mean I ain't surprised, but this wasn't the time to learn that about him." He doesn't wander off into the landscape to look for the kid; instead, he goes back to the house. Phil is on the first floor, sitting at the table, looking over something in a notebook. He looks up and at Techno, eyebrow quirked.

"Where's Ranboo?"

"Fuckin' kid can teleport now. You need to help me look for him. I don't know where he's gone."

Phil stands up, the chair clattering over. "What happened?"

"I told him that if someone had died, we probably wouldn't know unless someone showed up on our steps looking for answers about why someone died."

"You did WHAT?" Phil slams his notebook on the table. "You can't just tell someone in his situation that there's a possibility that people will show up to look for him."

"Listen, it wasn't just because I wanted to be honest. I wanted to see what would happen to the kid. And turns out, somethin' happened! Good learnin' moment, wish it could have happened in a spot that's easier to search for him in. Let's split up, start with places he knows. Check his house here, then we'll go where L'manberg used to be and see if he's gone to where his house used to be, and if that fails, we're going back to the spot where you found him in the water because turns out, that enderman has like a little...panic room over there where he plays music and talks to himself."

Phil freezes and looks at Techno. "So there was something over there?"

"Kid looked freaked as hell when I found it and tried to lie about it again." Techno sighs. He shakes his head. "I understand that he's lied to us, but right now that's not the point and you wanted to help him."

"He's hiding things-"

"I wouldn't trust us with everything if we were him. Even if he trusted us enough to help. Think about it. We destroyed the place that he lived before. He destroyed the homes of his friends, caused a fight between him and them. Even if he's 'neutral', we aren't his side. He's aware of that."

Phil hisses out a breath. "Right. So we find the little shit first and figure out what he's done. Are you committed to not talking to people from what was L'manberg to figure out if there are missing or injured people?"

"We might want to talk them first to prevent them from showing up randomly. Even if the enderman hybrid only teleports away at the first sign of danger, we don't need more variables that we can't predict." Techno grabs a map and some potions to stop Ranboo from getting away too fast and he heads out the door. Phil takes off in one direction and Techno walks to the house behind there's. He looked in the corners, looking for a place that Ranboo might hide and he finds that the table covered in crafting items is concealing something. He moves it out of the way and drops down into the basement of the house. He was surprised by the amount of stuff down there, but it's empty. There's no Ranboo there. Techno climbs back up out of there and walks out of the house, closing the front door behind him before he decides to go into the hills and look for the place that Ranboo had woken up last time. Maybe that would be a place that he would go back to. And so Techno takes off into the snow, looking for the kid.

Phil soars across the landscape, looking for the spot where he had found Ranboo the day before, but when he lands on the beach he can't find anything. He looks into the water and spots the concealed entrance of the panic room. He dips down into the room and looks at the walls for a moment, the glowing words there don't make him feel at ease. Instead, it makes him more concerned about the things that are happening in this place and in Ranboo's. There are signs written with ink, but it's the fluorescent messages across the wall that have him worried.

_ Dream is the reason. _

_ Don't pick sides, pick people. _

_ Everything is okay. _

All right alongside messages that read:

** We did this. **

** We destroyed the community center. **

** Everything is going to burn. **

Phil gets up and out of the room, not bothering to check the small jukebox in the corner of the room. He's surprised that the thing could even be used for music. It looks like it's seen much better days. But Ranboo isn't here. And so he flies off again, going towards the remains of L'manberg. And that's where he sees Ranboo, but only for a moment. The kid is standing up on the framework that Dream had used to drop the TNT into the pit. And he isn't staring down into the pit. Ranboo stares up at Phil. And even from the distance, Phil can see the little wave that Ranboo gives him. But as Phil lowers to the obsidian frame, he watches as Ranboo's eyes open and they look right through him for a moment before he snaps away again.

Phil looks around wildly, looking for something that could point him the way that Ranboo has gone like a normal enderman might. And then he sees it. It's fainter than a full enderman, but it's there all the same. The trail of purple leads off towards the portal. And so Phil takes off. And then he spots Ranboo, reappearing and disappearing along the paths to get to the portal. Every time he reappears, he isn't focused on the path that he's walking and instead is looking up into the sky, his hands behind his back and a wide smile on his face. Phil lands at the portal and walks through to find Ranboo walking normally along the path there, humming to himself. And he hangs back. It's Ranboo, he can see that. But there's something about the kid. It doesn't seem like him. It feels like someone else.

And that's when the resemblance hits something in the back of Phil's head. He's only seen Dream a handful of times, mostly during the attack and destruction of L'manberg, but he walks the same way. Like there's nothing in the world that can stop him. Phil folds his wings in and walks down the path, following Ranboo. It looks like he's going home at least. But something is rubbing Phil the wrong way. He doesn't trust Dream. Neither does Techno (not completely at least), but Dream had been willing to help before. But now, whatever had happened after the fight, it looked like they might have stumbled upon another piece of Dream's puzzle.

Phil clenches his fist. He thought the kid would be safe out there near him and Techno, away from the chaos that was sure to erupt now that L'manberg was gone.

Turns out there was nowhere safe in this world for him. Not while Dream is alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're starting to get into it. :)
> 
> Also a note, this is not going to be canon compliant completely. It's been stated that Ranboo can't teleport. But the larger themes that I'm going to hit at I think will have some merit (maybe). I will not be updating this fic if lore happens anytime soon that contradicts what I'm saying here. I'll just keep going forward with this headcanon until I finish the fic.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that that took a while to get put together to post. I'm working on...three fics right now, with two of them actively being posted. I'm trying to make sure I'm at least alternating what gets uploaded between those two.

He's pacing.

Of course, he is. He rubs his face, trying to think back to what happened. He was asleep, then he was awake, far away from Techno's house. Now he's awake in Techno's house with Phil and Techno whispering on the other side of the room.

"I'm just really really good at messing this up," he says quietly to himself. "If I could just get a handle on everything that I'm doing, then I wouldn't be putting people through this. But I can't even remember where I am. Did something stress me out? That's the only explanation I can think of right now for what happened." He pulls his notebook out of his pocket and looks at it. There are some scribbled notes, but not a ton for him to go off of. "Techno doesn't care about the panic room. Techno doesn't care about the things that I've been keeping. Even if Techno doesn't trust me, he's not angry about the things."

Ranboo closes his eyes and nods his head. He can deal with that. That's enough for him. Whatever happened to make him blackout, that isn't in here. He won't know unless someone tells him. He pauses, looking at Techno and Phil, but the two of them have their backs to him, looking carefully at something between the two of them. There's an urge inside of Ranboo to go outside, to pick up a block of dirt, and then go back to his house and put it right in the middle of the floor. And he's about to act on it when both Phil and Techno turn around.

"So it looks like we need to rehthink the way that we deal with you," Techno says, "Not in a bad way, just we need to figure out what we're doing. You're...slippery when you're sleeping walking."

Ranboo nods. "I have been told that people can't figure out where I'm going when I'm sleepwalking. But I can't remember it, so I didn't really know how bad it was."

Phil looks at Techno and then steps forward. "And we're going to need to put a tracker on you. Techno told me that you finally came clean about some things. And I'm aware that you might not want to come clean about others. But the point still stands, any secrets you have, you need to ignore the need to hide things from us. You need to just let us find out everything we need to know. No going to secret places, no secrets from us. You have to trust us if you want our help. Otherwise, we're not going to be able to help you at all."

Ranboo nods again. "I am aware of all that and I'm doing my best, but if I don't remember things clearly, is it better to have information that might be confusing or would it be better to have the information that I think is correct, but can't verify?"

Techno tilts his head. "He has a point Phil, if he can't remember clearly, no information might be better than bad information."

Phil shrugs. "For the things, you can remember, tell us all the details, not half of them."

"Okay, I can do that."

"Wait aren't you writing down everything?" Techno asks.

Ranboo freezes, putting his hand in his pocket, feeling the book there. "Yes. But it's personal. I know no secrets, but I don't want you to be able to go through my notebook all the time. That's too far. People have messed with me by taking my notebook."

Techno puts his hands up. "I get it. We can just trust you that when you're reading your notebook, you're telling us everything, I thought it might just make things easier for you if we were just checking the notebook and not asking you all the time about what you're doing."

Ranboo nods after a moment before he sits down on the couch and then lays down. "I'm tired. I think I'm just going to rest for a little bit. Whatever I did while I was sleepwalking took a lot out of me."

Neither Techno nor Phil says anything. Instead, they just watch him as he falls asleep, and then they both exhale.

"That kid isn't going to be able to handle whatever he's dealing with. Not like he is right now. He looks like he'll fall apart at the drop of a hat. If he's done something serious, then he's just going to do something worse." Techno stares at the couch where it looks like the kid's already fallen asleep.

"There's something else," Phil says, staring down at his hands, "When I was following him back through the nether, there was something weird about the way that he was walking. We've seen him walk enough, right? We should know what that looks like, but...that wasn't him walking through the nether."

"Who was it?"

"That was the way that Dream walks."

\---

Ranboo sits up on the couch and looks around. He knows that he was supposed to be here, but when he thinks about the last time he remembered awake, he knows that something's happened. Instead of puzzling through it, he grabs his notebook out of his pocket and starts flipping through the pages. The last page describes how he was found by Techno, how Techno felt about the situation. He cobbles together enough of the memory to assume that Techno brought him home. He stands up and stretches and then walks into the kitchen.

"Feel free to have anything out of the fridge," Techno says from the table. He's got papers out on the table and it looks like he's been researching something. Ranboo nods and walks to the fridge, finding a number of apples, potatoes, other easily farmable things. He grabs one of the apples and then gets a glass of water and sits down at the table, in the one spot that doesn't have a pile of papers sitting on it.

"What are you looking up?"

"Information about endermen stress responses," Techno says and then glances at Ranboo, "Tell me what can you remember from the last day?"

"I could remember on my own waking up at the panic room, but not you. But I wrote down that you found me there this morning. I'm guessing that we came back and either something stressful happened or I just got very tired and decided to nap the rest of the day away."

Techno's eyes dart, looking back and forth between Ranboo's eyes. He doesn't see any lie there, but he doesn't respond to Ranboo further, just jots down some notes and then returns to looking at all the documents in front of him. Ranboo sits in silence, eating his apple and drinking the water. He hears the door open and sees Phil walk into the kitchen. He waves. Phil gives him a look for a moment, but then he relaxes a little bit and waves back.

"Good to see you up, Ranboo," he said, "You took quite the nap."

"Maybe that has something to do with the sleepwalking I did before Techno found me at the panic room. It's happened before that I feel exhausted still after a full night of sleep."

Phil locks eyes with Techno, but Techno shakes his head, just a little bit, just enough to show Phil that this isn't the time to confront him about what else happened. Phil looks back at Ranboo with a sympathetic smile. "Well, at least you're rested now. What are you going to do for the night, or are you going to go back to sleep?"

Ranboo shrugs his shoulders. "I was kind of thinking that it might be nice to go outside. I haven't spent a lot of time out in the forest or anything and since I don't have problems seeing in the dark, it might be good to get familiar with the local area."

"Have you been over to the village nearby recently?" Techno asks. "They've got some new things that they're trading for."

Ranboo perks up at the sound of that. "I still have emeralds leftover from the last time I was in town, maybe I can trade with them. I know the merchants stay up late." He stands up and then pauses. "Uh..."

"I'll be with you when you travel that way," Phil says, "So just go ahead and go grab your things, I'll be out the door in a minute. Just got something to tell Techno before we go."

Ranboo bounds out the door, carefully closing it before he runs down the stairs and back to his house. He had left his hoard of emeralds there and he digs them out of the chest, filling his pockets with them. He's found some neat things from the merchants and he can only hope that they have more interesting things.

Phil fixes Techno with a stare. "Why aren't you confronting him about it?"

"He's just going to get stressed again, Phil," Techno huffs, standing up and putting his kettle on a burner. "And we know that that just sets him off. There's a better way to go about this. And that's to keep him calm. I'm not saying that we take up babysitting him for all time, but keep him relaxed, talk to him like a person, just keep him calm. I know that you're worried about Dream might be doing, but there's no reason to be angry with the kid."

"If Dream is pulling his strings, then it's just a matter of time before something goes wrong. I know that you...think of Dream as kind, but he's using people around us for something and I would like to remain firmly out of the way when it hits."

Techno leans against the counter. "I also don't want to get caught up in Dream's things, but if we can figure out how Ranboo is connected to it all, I think we might be able to save ourselves some grief in the long run."

Phil suddenly laughs. "I can hear the voices in your head right now, mate. Technosoft. You're actively worried about the kid."

Techno fixes Phil with a stare. "As much as I think that Dream is kind to me, I've seen him manipulate enough kids to know that this won't end well for Ranboo. And while Tommy, that spineless traitor, came out of it like he always does, I don't know if Ranboo can do the same, as fast as Tommy did. If Dream is taking away Ranboo's ability to make choices, then that's something that I can't stand for. That's one step away from creating a sort of government."

Phil's still laughing. "Just admit that you're worried about the kid."

Techno looks away at his kettle. "Go walk him to the village and make sure that he doesn't go on any other trips, Phil. I still need to finish the tracker so that he can be properly tracked." He focuses his energy and attention on everything else in the kitchen, which just causes Phil to laugh that much more. But Phil listens and puts his striped hat on his head before heading out the door. He pulls the door shut behind him. Techno sits alone in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil.

_technosoft technosoft technosoft eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee kill ranboo technosoft kill philza technosoft eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee dream lies phil doesn't like ranboo kill ranboo technosoft_

Techno closes his eyes for a moment, trying to take the murmur of voices in his head stop. They all point out things that he'd rather not face at the moment. Phil doesn't like Ranboo, doesn't trust Ranboo. Before, he was willing to give Ranboo the benefit of the doubt, but Dream's mannerisms in Ranboo's body was just a little too much. Techno chews on a nail while he thinks.

It doesn't make sense for Dream to have his fingers in what Ranboo is doing. The kid hasn't been in the middle of anything important. He's been off to the side, out of the way, always writing in that book. Techno sighs. Maybe it's for all of those reasons that Dream's been doing what he's been doing.

History is written by the victors, after all, and Techno has read enough history books to know what the right light after a war can do for someone. If Dream controls Ranboo somehow, then he can affect the things written in the book. He can write down lies about the past and shape the way that the future falls into place. Ranboo has been there for so much of it, not as a player, but as a recorder of events. Throwing him into the middle of things now would be opposed to that. But why else would the symptoms have gotten worse? What else could he be used for?

The kettle whistles and Techno gets a cup of tea ready before he sits back down with the papers, trying to figure out what there is to know about the way that endermen snap when you look at them.

\---

Outside, it's just barely started snowing. Phil and Ranboo walk in silence, but Ranboo is the first one to speak. "Do you think that they'll have some small statues or things that are pretty? Or do you think that they might have gotten their hands on ore that we can use for improving the armor?"

Phil shrugs. "Not certain. Normally Techno is the one that comes out here and deals with the villagers. They know him best. And my skills are better for creating the buildings near the house."

Ranboo nods. "Mmhmm. Mhmm. You are good at building Phil, I've seen some of the things that you've put together, and honestly, it's really cool. Could you help me fix up my house or something one of these days?"

Phil doesn't look at Ranboo, but looks forward into the dark. They have a light with them, but it doesn't illuminate that far around them. "Yeah, mate. Just let me know when you want to work on it, and we can do it together when it's my turn to watch you."

The two lapse back into quiet as they tromp through the snow and up until they enter the village. It is quiet, most people in their homes, but the merchants are still outside, chatting while they drink hot beverages that steam.

"I won't take long, I swear," Ranboo says before he walks over to the merchants, chatting with them and asking them about their wares. Phil hangs back, standing under one of the lamp posts in the town. He looks around at the houses. He's been here enough times to recognize some of the people in town, but everyone in town looks past him, like they're afraid of what he might do. Phil feels his wings shift from the uncomfortable energy that he's feeling. Right now, they look like part of his cloak, so he plays with their edges, calming himself.

He catches sight of a bird on top of another lamp post and when Phil stares at it, the bird calls out in a language that Phil can understand. "Trust Techno," it says softly.

Other birds gather around Phil, chattering at him about the situation. Most of them want to trust Techno, but there are others, ones that Phil hears loudest that demand a more immediate solution. They don't want to wait and see if he betrays Techno, they want the kid out of the way now. Phil shoos away the birds when they won't shut up and he sees Ranboo coming back. The collected birds disperse in every direction.

"Are you a bird magnet?" Ranboo asks as he walks forward with a bag full of things.

"A bit," Phil says, smiling easily, "They must just know that I'm like them."

Ranboo smiles back and nods. "I got some seeds and things too, new plants that I haven't seen Techno growing up here, do you think he'll like them?"

Phil looks at the bag and then at Ranboo's face, fingers twitching to the sword at his side for a brief moment, contemplating the way that the voices spoke. He then rests his hand on his hip instead and starts walking back out of the village. "I'm sure he'll love the chance to master another plant in this climate."

Ranboo beams and follows behind Phil, but there's a sound, nothing loud, just the sound of something. It's like a shout from far away, the sound of someone who's just about to win and is so confident that they don't mind yelling it at the top of their lungs. Ranboo turns forward again when the sound subsides, but when he looks at Phil, he sees someone else for a moment - a mask and netherite armor with a sword in gloved hands - just until he blinks again. He rubs his arm.

_It's just in your head. Dream can't be here. Dream doesn't know where you are, who you are, anything about you. You have never really talked to Dream. There's nothing to worry about. Everything is fine._

_Everything is fine._

_Everything is fine._

_Everyth_ **ing is fine.**

**:)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that there are a lot of theories running around today after Ranboo's lore stream today (1/30). But for this fic, nothing that might have been revealed changed anything that I'm writing (although it did make me want to write more).
> 
> What this really means is that right now, Ranboo is still doing things in the lore roughly according to what I think.
> 
> And of course, this fic isn't going to be completely canon (because I don't want to just rewrite things that have happened, but think about future implications), but for the moment, most of the assumptions I'm making aren't going outside of what Ranboo has done in lore stream.
> 
> TL;DR: I'm not adjusting myself for any future lore, but it seems like I'm on the right track mentally.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I ran into some motivation block (not writer's block, I still know where the story is going, I just didn't want to write) and I've realized that it has to do with the number of eyes on this project.
> 
> Now I love you guys that keep coming back for more. And there hasn't really been much pushback in the comments about this fic. But this chapter might start shifting things. I'm writing this for me first and foremost.
> 
> Second of all, this chapter is long and deals with some derealization, breakdown looking things. Please take care of yourself.

Everything is fine.

Ranboo can't remember when he started saying it to himself, but he knows that he's been saying it for a long time. It was just something to help ground him in the moment. But even as he thinks the phrase this time, it doesn't help. It doesn't make him feel better, doesn't help him feel grounded in the world at all. He's sitting at the table, looking down at an empty page in his journal, trying to piece together if he skipped the page or if the text has been altered. There's text before and after it and it is the most recent book that he's used.

Ranboo shakes his head and tries to puzzle his way through it all, but it's hard enough keeping track of all the real memories. Chasing down fake ones isn't something that he had thought that he needed the mental space to do.

"Do you want to help me with some of the chores?" Techno asks Ranboo as he stands at the window, looking at the snow around the house.

"Sure." Ranboo stands up. "Any way I can help out around here will make me feel less useless and like a burden."

Techno doesn't reply but pulls his cloak tightly around himself and goes out the front door. Ranboo drags behind him through the snow without a cloak of his own. He likes the cold after all. They go over a hill and dip down to an area where a group of turtles sits in some water. The two stand there for a moment while Techno takes stock of the area. "We're going to be fixing up the fences over here and feeding them. The feed for them is in the basement. Can you grab that and also wood?"

Ranboo nods and goes back to the house, going into the basement to find all the things he needs. And it's in the silence of the house that he starts hearing the music playing again. The sound of the music lingers in his head and he shakes it off to start gathering things. He's just imagining it. The music isn't playing anywhere.

As he walks back to the farm, he hears the music getting louder and louder. 

And louder.

And Louder.

AND LOUDER.

\---

Ranboo is standing in front of the prison. He looks around, trying to get his bearings. He's been here before, he's looked at the prison before, but he wasn't supposed to be over here. This is too close to others. He wanted to stay away from them, he wanted to be far away from everything that's going on. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a notebook, checking over his notes for the last day. He helped Techno with chores. He did things up north, then he heard about something happening with Tommy and Tubbo. A showdown with Dream. They're leaving...soon? Today?

As he's puzzling over the day and the time, a hand taps his arm. He looks around and Sam is standing next to him. "Coming to the prime path for Tommy and Tubbo's send-off?"

"Yeah, right. I was just on my way, just needed to stop and ...check something."

Sam nods his head and the two of them walk down the path closer to where others will be gathered. Sam glances at Ranboo, trying to puzzle out what's going on with the kid. "Are you doing okay? It's been a while since I've seen you."

"Yeah, yeah. I've been doing fine. Just living away from everything enjoying not getting involved in too many things for the time being."

"Right, right. Where are you living these days?"

"I-I don't want to talk about it. If people know where I am, they might get me wrapped up in things that I don't want to be wrapped up in."

"Of course, that makes sense. Just...if something's going wrong, there are people that will help you, y'know? But they can't help if they don't know where you are."

"I'm good! If I need help, I'll ask."

Sam bobs his head and walked down the path quietly. The two of them aren't the only ones coming this way. There are people there, loitering on the sides of the path, looking around. Ranboo leaves Sam and finds a spot of his own to watch. And soon enough, Tommy and Tubbo are walking down the path together, quietly talking, looking at the gear that they've got on. Ranboo can only imagine what this moment is like for them. They're about to head off on a trip that could kill them. And thank god he decided to stay out of the way of other things, thank god that he's decided to live a life away from others. And they watch the duo leave, standing in silence together. No one utters a word until Punz stands up in front of them.

"Listen. I know that I'm not always involved in the things that you do in your countries and your groups. And that you guys think that I'm just a sword for hire. Tommy left payment in my tower for me with a request that I help however I could with the meeting that they're having with Dream today. And I...even if I wasn't paid, this doesn't sit right. Dream didn't need to turn this into a scene where we think that two kids are going to die by his hand. If you want to be there, if you want to try and help me stop him, then meet me here in an hour. Gather your weapons, your armor, whatever you think will need for a confrontation with Dream."

And the group is quiet for a moment as they look at each other. "We can't just let those two go through this alone." Sam's words are quiet.

"We can't let Dream keep doing this," Niki says.

"Whatever personal feelings we have about the situation, we can't let Dream continue to terrorize us like this," Puffy says.

And that's when everyone else starts talking, there's an agreement, not in that they want to start this fight, but that this needs to be the end of the fight that's been going on for far too long. And Ranboo stands in the back with his notebook and he writes quietly as they decide to do this. He doesn't need to go get his weapons and armor when he's been wearing them and holding onto them the entire time, so he remains in that place, enjoying the quiet of the day, trying to not feel the stress of what the evening will bring. Others come and go, bring their gear, make piles of things to take with them. And none of them look happy.

But soon everyone's back, geared up and ready for a fight. And then Punz leads them to the portal and then through the Nether. They start trekking until they come to another portal. Punz pauses the group there and in the sweltering heat of the nether, they wait. Punz looks through the portal once or twice, but it's now time, there's no one there for them to attack.

"How did you know about this portal?" Ranboo eventually asks.

Punz looks at Ranboo, but he doesn't answer the question, doesn't even acknowledge the question until he simply shakes his head. And Ranboo nods, accepting that that's something that even him without his memory can know.

Punz ducks his head in and then jerks back out. "Dream's in there. We need to move now. Tommy and Tubbo..." He doesn't finish the sentence, but they all understand that the situation is likely grim. And then they're lined up ready to go and they walk through the portal.

"I'm sorry, Dream. You should have paid me more," Punz says as he leads the forces in.

\---

The long and the short of the event as Ranboo remembers is that Tommy is safe, Tubbo is still alive, and Dream is locked away. He remembers seeing most of the events, but there are gaps in his memory of that day. It's understandable. It's a stressful event, and as far as he knows, stress ruins his memory. But the next day when he's sitting outside, he can't get over the fact that he can't remember if Techno or Phil were there. And he doesn't bring it up, doesn't ask them about that day. They're quiet now, calm in this place away from the chaos. And they're content to let Ranboo run around the area. There's been no memory blackouts, nothing major in the last day that they're aware of.

But every time Ranboo thinks about the day that Tommy and Tubbo went off, he can't help but feel wrong. So he stays outside, out of the way, somewhere where they can still see him. And he hums to himself, just whatever melody is in his head. Then he realizes that the melody he's humming isn't just something that he's made up in his head.

He hears it out there. He hears the sound of it out there. He gets up off the ground and walks back to his house and he opens the chest. He's checked here before, checked here just today, looking for the disc and making sure that all his things are in order. They're all there, the disc was there earlier. But when he opens the chest, the music disc is gone.

His hands shake and he grabs his face. He remembers putting the disc there, remembers seeing it that morning, remembers...

\---

The prison stands in front of him. He's been here before or maybe not. But he knows...this is the place he needs to be. He can't remember what brought him here, but he knows that this is right, knows that this is fine. He takes a breath. That's right, he was coming here to see Dream for the first time since he was locked up. It's been weeks since he's been locked up, right? It definitely has. He walks in, hits the button to ring for the Warden. It takes a moment, but he hears Sam's voice over the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sam," he says, "I'm here to see Dream?"

"Right, right. Give me a second. When the portal lights up come through it."

Ranboo steps away from the button and looks at the frame of the portal. He hears something click and then the portal comes to life. He takes a breath and then walks through. He finds himself back in the Nether, he knows it because he can feel the heat, but he can't see the Nether in this place that Sam has decorated.

"One second. I'll let you know when you can step back through." Sam's voice rings through speakers on this side of the portal. Ranboo is quiet.

He wanted to do this, right? He wanted to see Dream. Why did he want to see Dream? Did he want to say something about the situation? Did he want to get closure? What can he get from this? It's too late to rethink, but Ranboo tries to think through it anyways, he opens his notebook, flips through the pages.

" _ when you go to see Dream, you're doing it because of the voice. you're doing it to make sure that you're not the one that really destroyed things. you're going to tell Dream what you think of him and what he did and you're going to make sure that he realizes that the crimes that he committed are things that even you will remember. you will make sure that he knows who you are." _

At least he wrote it out for himself. But his hand shakes when he looks at the page and he swears for a second that he can hear something far away, the sound of music. And he sucks in a breath just as Sam's voice comes through the speaker.

"Step through."

He listens and steps through. He's seen this spot before when Sam was still building, but when he walks through today, Sam looks more serious than before. Ranboo smiles at him. "Hi, Sam."

"Hi, Ranboo. I was surprised when I got your letter about coming to the prison today, but I know that some people have some things to work out with Dream. So if you're ready, let's start with the basic questions. When was the last time you were at the prison?"

Ranboo nervously puts his hand on his book like it'll impart knowledge without him reading it. "I-I don't think I've been in here before. Just the one time when you were still working on it."

"Right, right. Where are you living these days?"

Ranboo looks carefully at Sam. "Uh, just out in the tundra near where Techno is, but not with Techno. Y'know just hanging out where people aren't going to be very often."

"Makes sense, especially after everything that's happened. I know you were hoping to stay away from things and Techno definitely is going to keep unwanted guests away. Okay, now for the next one. Do you believe that the prisoner deserves to be locked up?"

"Yes." Ranboo knows that for sure. He's felt that in his gut. He knows that Dream should remain in this prison for a very very long time. He's caused so much harm, so much hurt. And Ranboo knows that he himself deserves to be in there too if he's been included in everything that has happened.

"Right, okay. So just sign these forms and then we can head on in."

"Okay." Ranboo steps forward and looks at the forms on the desk. He reads through the things that he's waiving. None of it settles his already anxious stomach, but he wasn't expecting the experience to make him feel calmer. He signs everything, hand only shaking a little bit as he slides the paper to Sam.

Sam gives him a small smile and then the two of them walk through the prison after Ranboo's things are secure in a locker. His memory book is in Sam's hands, the only item that he needs when he goes through so that he can write down what happens and not forget it. The prison is a marvel, and terrifying. Ranboo's hands shake as they continue through. He almost barely processes the fact that he swims through the water. It stings, but it's not enough to drown out the endless string of thoughts in his head.

And then he's looking at Dream, the lava falling behind him. The barrier between them disappears, but Dream doesn't move from where he's leaning against the wall, his mask staring directly at Ranboo. "Nice to see you, Ranboo. I'm glad you're here to see me. Feels like no one's going to want to make time to see me in prison."

"Maybe that's because of the things you did, the way that you made people feel. You did...awful things."

Dream moves up off the wall and stands in front of Ranboo. "And so did you."

Ranboo's hands tremble, but he shakes it off. "I don't believe you. You're lying to me to try and trick me into thinking that-"

"Why would I lie to you, Ranboo? You're like one of the only people that I've talked to lately. Why would I lie to a friend?"

"Friend?" Ranoo barely breathes the word, as if it crossing his lips at all is another mark against him.

"Yeah, best friends," Dream says, "Or do you not want to remember all the fun that the two of us had?"

Ranboo's eyes go wide, his thoughts running together into strings of nothing and everything at once. There's no way that he knows Dream. No way that he's friends with Dream. No way that any of this is real. If it's real, it means he did this. It means that he killed something - someone - something and it was likely that he had done more things that he couldn't even remember. He clutches his head. He's certain that he's screaming, but he can't hear it, can't hear anything. 

He can't feel anything.

_ Dream knew me, knew my crimes, knew everything. _

** You know too. You just need to ask yourself and remember. :) **

\------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This beast of a chapter is all Ranboo, but we'll be getting back to someone who can remember what they had for breakfast. The pieces will come together, I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

Techno sits in the kitchen. There's a problem. There's a big problem. It's not Dream. Dream's locked up, taken away by the people that saw him commit the crimes. Techno's not surprised, not at all. But there's a message on his desk, waiting for him. Dream asking for his favor. But Techno let it sit there, ignoring it. That's not the problem. Dream is a problem for another day.

It's Ranboo. Techno sits at his table, chewing on his nail. He hasn't seen Ranboo for days. They had him safe at the house, but then he was gone the next morning, nowhere to be found at all.

Phil had gone out and asked. He had been at the showdown where they finally put Dream away, but where had he been between those two moments? And where was he now?

Techno closes his eyes, trying to muddle through everything that he can about the enderman-hybrid, but he can't figure out anything new. That kid's just one big mystery that is never going to be solved. He rubs his face and then looks at the table. Phil is out trying to find him again, but there are other things that he's finding, things that don't make sense out there, things that are making people ask questions. Pieces of the nether have just been destroyed, hollowed out like they were nothing. And Ranboo's house has gotten...louder. The number of endermen in the area is a little concerning. Phil kept telling Techno to leave them alone, but Techno isn't sure why. Even if Ranboo knew his parents and one of the endermen here was a parent, there were bigger fish to fry.

"Still nothing," Phil says, opening the door. The movement drags Techno out of his brain and into the moment.

"Neither of us should ever be babysitters," Techno says, sighing, "But least of all for a kid like Ranboo. Have things in his house moved around again?"

"Not since the last time we were in there. He's not coming back here, wherever he is going."

"It just doesn't make sense," Techno says out loud, looking down at his notes. "Even if he's been doing this in the past, he's never done anything obvious enough that people noticed or cared that he was doing something, so what does this...sleepwalking state want? What is it doing? Why did it wake him up out in the field with blood on his hands?"

Phil sits down at the table, ready to wait out a Technoramble.

"It's not a different person. He's never acted so far out of the norm that people noticed that he was someone else. So it's him. It's always him, whatever he's doing. The last time I saw him like that, he spoke in a language that sounded familiar, but it wasn't the common tongue, so he might be repressing some memories or something. His memory went with an accident, but obviously, he can't remember the details of the accident. The kid was probably raised by endermen. His sleepwalking state can access all of his memories, the other language that he knows, and it can move him around the world, but it seems attached to obsidian and leaving him stranded in new and interesting places. He's trying to tell himself what to remember. The places that he's waking up aren't a coincidence. The way that he keeps waking up in places that don't make sense, his other self is trying to get him to see something, but what do blood, a panic room, and that space below his shack have in common?"

Phil puts a hand on Techno's shoulder. "You're starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist, mate."

Techno stands up. "I have nothing else. We don't have any other details for the kid. And I know that I didn't care at first, but the kid has started fucking up things for the rest of us. What if he's involved in whatever Dream is doing?"

"How often have you seen Dream up here?" Phil tilts his head.

"After L'manberg's final day, I haven't seen him up here. He had been...off dealing with whatever is going on with him and Tommy. And now he's stuck in that prison."

"Didn't Dream ask you for that favor?"

"He did, but too late for me to do anything. I'm certain that I'll have to talk to him in prison and he'll be mad at me for not following through with what I owed him. But I'm also certain he'll find another use for my owed favor. He did send it last minute. It looked like he hadn't really thought things would go this way. How is everyone else doing out there?"

"Everyone's...happy from what I've seen. And by happy, I'm not certain if they're all stable, but they're all finding ways of moving on now that Dream isn't there trying to control all of them. Some of those people aren't on a good path and I keep hearing people whispering about some egg or something. Seems dumb, made me hungry, not worried about it."

Techno bites his thumbnail in thought. "Seems unrelated. Going to assume that that will have little impact on what happened to Ranboo. He was up here to get away from things, right? He wouldn't step back into things without a reason."

Phil walks into the kitchen and puts a kettle on the stove, heating up some water for his friend. "Mate, I think you need to step back from the notes. Let's just stop and relax for a second. We've been trying to figure this out for too long without a break. We're going to get nowhere with this until we can rest for a minute. And there are things that we need to figure out. Like what we're going to do next here. We, Dream included, destroyed L'manberg for the last time. The country is gone. What comes next for us?"

Techno waves his hand. "They're going to start makin' new governments, Phil. Some of them won't be able to help it. We'll make sure that they don't start consolidatin' power in ways that will hurt the regular people. Maybe we can see if anyone has finally decided that anarchy might be the way. that they want to go. And then we can form some sort of group, just a group of people talking about potential work together."

Phil laughs. "People are going to say that you're starting a government."

"It's not, they're idiots. There's no leader. There's no voting to see what happens, except maybe about new members. Just a...trusted network to ask for backup if someone needs to get something done. And no one has to say yes to the work. I already have some ideas about who to invite and I'll start leaving messages for those people and we'll see who decides to come forward."

Phil sets a cup of tea down in front of Techno after the silence fills the room. The two of them sit there quietly, the notes are still spread out between them and Ranboo's things are still on the couch. It's like another ghost in the room. Phil sighs and then goes to look out the window, just checking to see if he can see Ranboo near his house. And there's still no one there. The little shack out there hasn't been touched. The basement was always full of things and unorganized, but as far as Phil could tell, it's remained untouched for a couple days. Things had moved before then, supplies added, things removed. All of it inconsequential, nothing major left behind.

"I can't help but think that this has something to do with Dream, Phil." Techno's face isn't scrunched up in concentration, but completely calm. "I'm not saying that he directly did something to the kid, but whatever it is that's happened to Ranboo, it got worse after Dream sent the note to Tommy to meet him for a final showdown. And it has gotten steadily worse since Dream has been put away. There's no way that that doesn't mean somethin' for the kid. I just can't figure out how Dream could have influence over the kid."

"You could always go see him in prison."

"I will, but..."

"The favor?"

Techno grimaces, then nods. "The longer I stay away, the less I have to think about the favor. I'll get to it eventually, I'm a man of my word and I said I owed him. But who knows what he'll ask now that he's in prison."

"We don't have any other leads to follow."

Techno nods his head again and then sighs. "First, real rest. And then tomorrow, we decide on the right path to follow."

Phil relaxes and the two fall into an uneasy state of silence, falling back into the same habits that they had before Ranboo. The house is quiet and calm and peaceful again. Techno, a fan of not being bothered by anyone, did wish that Ranboo would walk through the door, crying and apologizing or something. Anything that would tell him that everything was actually okay. Anything that would make him stop worrying about another kid. He didn't want to get attached to Ranboo, but the endermen-hybrid had seemed so content to just live nearby. He never asked for anything until that day. Ranboo had trusted him and even given him things. He didn't take. He didn't stay where he wasn't supposed to. He was too good. And the fact that that good had made him care made Techno more uneasy. It was so opposite what Tommy had done, what if it was all a set-up by Dream or even by Ranboo?

\---

He paces in the nether. Ranboo can't remember the last time that he went home, the last time that he's seen Techno and Phil. It hasn't been that long since he went home, right? He would look much worse than he does now if he hadn't gone back home to take care of things, get fresh clothing, and all that...right?

He shakes his head. He could go home right now. But that feels like the wrong choice. Why would that be the wrong choice?

Ranboo blinks then looks around. He's at the...community house, right. He remembers working on it, but it looks like someone else has completed the rebuild of this place. He walks up the stairs to the second floor. It's beautiful up there. He likes that it's complete again. It's something else that's made this place amazing. The people came together made something new and beautiful here. He takes a deep breath. This is the world that he wanted for people. They're doing things for themselves and it looks like some people are picking people instead of sides, picking the whole community instead of starting another fight.

But there are sides, he reminds himself. There are still sides. Techno and Phil are a side, even if he doesn't want to think about them as a side. It's still a choice that he's made. There are whispers of other groups. Now that Tubbo is free, he's making a place out in a different forest, a place for people to go, but it's so close to being a country. There have got to be other groups, other sides that are doing things. Ranboo rubs his face and sits in the window, looking out at the buildings that line the street.

The area around L'manberg has been a bit of a ghost town. People show up now and then, but there haven't been many people around. Ranboo stares at it, the red vines that have been popping up are also threading their way over everything that people have built. The vines aren't that interesting to him, but he doesn't understand what people find disgusting about them. He rubs his eyes again. He feels tired. He can't remember the last time that he slept. With a deep breath, he looks at the portal to the nether. When was the last time he was home? When was the last time that he saw Phil or Techno?

There are too many gaps in his head. He reaches into his pocket for the notebook and he pauses. There's nothing there. There's no notebook in his pocket. There's no notebook there.

He pauses and waits for a second. He pats his pockets again, but there's nothing there. It feels like he doesn't have anything that he would normally expect to have on him. He tries to think back to where the notebook could be, but there's no way that he's been in any of those places.

"I'll just...go check my house. I'll check the panic room. Maybe I dropped it in there when I was walking around. Maybe Phil and Techno have found it. Do Phil and Techno even know where I am? Do they know where I've been? Do they still care about me? I wouldn't if I disappeared like this. They're not going to want to help anymore." He holds his head as he sits there. And then he stands up and walks to the panic room. He ducks in for just a moment and when he sees that the room is as its always been, he ducks back out and then walks towards the portal. If the notebook isn't here, then the only other place he thinks it could be is at his house. He just hopes that Techno and Phil aren't going to attack him on sight.

\---

Techno had finally taken a moment to stop and breathe. He had made a meal. While he eats, he thinks about anything else that he could while they were still trying to figure out where Ranboo had gone. But then he hears it. It is soft, but it's the sound of someone else walking around outside. Phil is still asleep upstairs. That means that there is someone that shouldn't be here. Techno sets down his fork and he puts on a mask and a cloak. He doesn't look nearly as put together: his hair loose around his face and his clothes more relaxed than most people have seen. But the sight of him with a sword is usually enough to scare people away from the area. Techno walks out his front door with his sword in his hand. And there's Ranboo, walking across the landscape, looking still alive, still okay.

Techno isn't certain for a moment if he's angry or not. But the kid is alive at least. He stands there and stares, Ranboo eventually meeting his eye. Ranboo raises his hand, hesitant. Techno raises his hand back. At least he's okay. At least he's still around. Techno pushes his mask up to the top of his head and watches as Ranboo scurries back to his house. And then Techno walks inside, walks upstairs to go talk to Phil. Ranboo runs to his house, panic in every word he mutters.

"Techno was going to attack me. Techno didn't expect to see me here. What did I do? What did I do? What did I do?"

Inside of his little house, he checks every single chest, even the secret ones. There's no book in there. There are old ones, but not the one that he was writing in. He checks them again and then opens up his enderchest. There's a brand new notebook in there. Ranboo opens it and the pages are all empty, all brand new. Except for a piece of paper tucked into the back of the notebook. That is a page that he recognizes, although it's been torn out of the other notebook.

A smiley face at the top.

:)

And a new message at the bottom.

"Thank you for visiting me again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a little bit of lore in Sapnap's stream, again nothing that was out of line with the things that I'm thinking about here. Just more confirmation about some stuff and more questions.
> 
> Obviously this fic is non-canon, I've rearranged some story elements and exaggerated some things.
> 
> What are your current theories on Ranboo? let me know in the comments :)


	7. Chapter 7

Techno throws open the door to Phil's room. "He's back," Techno says, loud enough to snap Phil out of whatever dream he was having.

"Who's back? Tommy?"

"No, why would Tommy come back? Ranboo. Ranboo's back at his house."

Phil sits up at that. "And you're here with me and not chasing after him at his own house?"

"I thought you would want to know!" Techno shuts the door and runs out of the room, making his way down the stairs and back into the little alcove where Ranboo's home is. The door is open, the chests partially open, but then he hears it. It's the sound of talking, but quiet and in a language that Techno doesn't recognize. Techno climbs down the ladder that leads down into the basement of the house and he finds Ranboo sitting there, writing in a notebook. It's newer, but it looks the same as the other notebooks that Ranboo has had. When Techno takes a step towards Ranboo, Ranboo says something at him.

"⌇⌿⟊ ⟒⌿⋏⌇⊬⋉ ⊑⌇⌰⟒ ⌰☊⌿ ⟊⋉⎎ ⍜⋉⏁⊬⍀ ⌇⌿☊⌿?"

Techno just stares at him blankly for a moment, then shakes his head. "I don't understand what you're saying, Ranboo."

"⋉⌇ ☊⏁⍀⌇⟒, ⟊⋉⎎ ⋏⌰⊬'⟒ ⎅⏃⌿⌰⎐ ⟒⌇⏁⎅ ⍙⌰⊬⍀⎎⌰⍀⌿. ⟒⌇⌰⟒'⎅ ⌰⊑⎐⊑⌰☊⍜"

"What the fuck are you doing here now? We've been looking for you for so long and you've just been gone."

"⍜⋉⊬'⟒ ⊑⋉☊☊⟊ ⌰⋔⋉⎎⟒ ⏁⟒, ⟒⌿⋏⌇⊬⋉.⏁'☌⌿ ⎍⎎⎅⟒ ⋔⌿⌿⊬ ⌖⏁⊬⏁⊬⍀ ⌰⊬⍜ ⎅⟒⎎⍾⍾ ⍾⌰☊ ⌰⊑⌰⟊, ⎍⎎⎅⟒ ⋔⎎⏁⍙⍜⏁⊬⍀ ⎅⋉⌖⌿ ⎅⟒⎎⍾⍾."

Techno narrows his eyes. "You need to come back to the house and stay there until we can figure out what's happened. Nod if you can understand me."

Ranboo nods his head with a smile and then he stands up with his notebook in hand and gestures at the ladder. Ranboo goes first and climbs up and out. When they're exiting the house, Phil is out in the snow, just wearing an old cloak to protect from the cold rather than his full ensemble. Ranboo waves at Phil as they walk back towards the house.

"⎅⋉☊☊⟊ ⟒⋉ ⋏⌰⎎⎅⌿ ⎅⋉ ⌖⎎⋏⌇ ⟒☊⋉⎎⋔⍙⌿ ⍾⋉☊ ⟊⋉⎎ ⍀⎎⟊⎅, ⏁ ⍜⏁⍜⊬'⟒ ⟒⌇⏁⊬⎐ ⟊⋉⎎ ⊑⋉⎎⍙⍜ ⌖⏁⊬⍜ ⟒⌇⌰⟒ ⏁ ⊑⌰⎅ ⋉⎎⟒ ⍜⋉⏁⊬⍀ ⟒⌇⏁⊬⍀⎅."

Phil looks past Ranboo to Techno who simply shrugs.

"Come on back in the house. We should all be getting some sleep instead of being out here in the cold." Phil gestures back at the house and then directs both of them inside. Phil is the last one in, locking the doors behind them. Ranboo goes to the couch and goes through his bag, pulling out things here and there, but otherwise acting like the same Ranboo that they had always known. It's unnerving for both Phil and Techno that they just can't understand a word that the kid is saying at them. He's just making noise as far as they're concerned.

"He's...speaking that language that neither of us know," Phil says to Techno when Techno walks into the kitchen and turns on the water to fill a cup.

"I'm aware," Techno mutters.

"Do you want me to take the night shift with him and make sure that he stays here this time?"

"⋉⌇ ⍜⋉⊬'⟒ ⊑⋉☊☊⟊ ⏁'⌖ ⊬⋉⟒ ⍀⋉⏁⊬⍀ ⌰⊬⟊⊑⌇⌿☊⌿ ⟒⌇⏁⎅ ⟒⏁⌖⌿!"

Techno rubs his face. "I'm taking the first shift because I'm already wired. You look like you're going to pass out."

"Correct, mate. I am going to pass out."

"Then go back to sleep. I'll be here until you wake up and come down to relieve me from duty."

"Alright." Phil walks up the stairs and then the door closes up there. Techno turns his attention to Ranboo who is laying down on the couch and writing in his notebook again. Techno doesn't ask questions, doesn't even bother asking. He just knows that this isn't great. Techno is trying so hard to accept that this kid isn't out there trying to do something terrible. But there are moments where the kid looks like he could be part of things that are happening out there, plots that could move against the relative peace of the northern territory that he has claimed. Techno sits back down at the table, putting away all of the papers and notes that he had put out. He doesn't need them anymore. Not if Ranboo is here, safe and sound.

Techno shoves the notes away and then just sits at the table. He stares at Ranboo, who looks up from his journal and smiles at him.

"You had us worried, kid," Techno sighs, "I know that you're stuck speaking whatever language that is, but I just want you to know...even though you'll forget...Phil and I don't want to see you get hurt. So if you can stop running off and getting into whatever trouble you're getting into, that would make us happy. But...if something happens. You can tell us."

Ranboo opens his mouth to say something and then just nods.

"Good," Techno says and then he gets up and goes to make some food in the kitchen, he makes an extra helping and sets it out for Ranboo. It's been far too long since he's had a meal himself and although he's not sure where Ranboo went, food is usually always a welcome peace offering.

The two eat in silence in the night and when they're done, Ranboo lays down and closes his eyes. Techno sits at the table, his notebook open again. He needs to figure out how to help the kid, but there's still too many pieces that he doesn't understand in this puzzle.

\---

In the morning, Ranboo wakes up on the couch in Techno's house. He pats down his pocket and finds his notebook. The notes inside aren't...he can't read these. He frowns at the notebook. "Good morning, mate," Phil says from the table. Techno is nowhere in sight. The memory of the time he went to his house after Techno saw him is vivid in his mind.

"Are you guys angry?"

"Nah. We're annoyed and a little impressed. You managed to give us the slip for a while there. We're still trying to figure out what happened to you. Does your little notebook have anything?"

Ranboo shakes his head. "It's not the same notebook. I don't know where my other notebook is." He looks at the torn out page in the back, confused by the sight of it. Did he visit Dream? Did he actually? That's something that he's going to have to investigate but now's not the time. But the thought digs at him until-

Dream might have the notebook. If the page is here and Dream has written on it, then that would mean that Dream saw the notebook and that would mean-

"That's...odd. You're normally so good about keeping your notebook on you," Phil says with a frown.

"I-I know. I'm... There was... I missed some time in there and I don't know... It's..." Ranboo can't find the words, can't find the memories and it's grating on every single part of his mind. He pauses and takes a breath. "I try my best, but I guess that something happened or someone happened because the notebook was gone and the only thing I could find was one of my spare notebooks. It's...worrying, but it's happened before. People...messed with my notebooks before."

Phil's brows knit together and he looked carefully at Ranboo. "Do you think that anyone would be trying to mess with you now, even after you've moved all the way out here with Techno and I?"

"There's a lot of people still doing a lot of things out there. It's hard to say that one person is causing problems right now. Other people know about my memory problems and might try to use them against me if they really wanted to. But I don't know who would really want to do anything against me right now."

Phil shrugs and then he looks back at his book. "Focus on figuring it out, and we can step in and help you get to the bottom of it. And if something seriously goes wrong, then we'll be there."

"Where's Techno?"

"Asleep. We found you last night while you were...sleepwalking? Enderwalking?"

"Enderwalking."

"Right. That. He stayed up during the night with you because he had already been awake when we saw you. So he's sleeping now. He'll be up in a few hours, I'm betting."

Ranboo nods and then stands up and goes into the kitchen to grab something, anything to eat. And he sits down on the couch with his apple, digging in. His mind is still racing through everything that has happened recently, trying to put together where he was and where he is going. What's the point of all of this? Who would take his notebook? Why would someone take it? What does it contain that other people shouldn't see? What does his current notebook contain? That language in there is impossible to understand. If that language is something that his Enderwalking side understands, then that might changes things a little bit, but it's impossible to read right now. He doesn't recognize the language on his own. He takes a breath and then finishes eating, the core of the apple in his hand.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

"What I do when I'm Enderwalking," Ranboo said, "I keep moving from place to place, my weapons get worn out. I'm doing something, but it's hard to track everything well enough to know what I'm doing and how it's really changing. I can tell when I get a ton of resources, but what if I'm doing it in an attempt to confuse myself about what I'm doing? There's no one I can trust. I can't even trust myself with half of the things that I'm thinking about."

Phil frowns and looks carefully at Ranboo. "Do you really feel like you can't trust anyone?"

"There are people I want to trust like you and Techno and Tubbo, but..."

"Without your memories, it's hard to tell who's done what?"

Ranboo nods and looks down. "It's not that I don't want to trust people, but how can I know that you and Techno didn't agree to this for purely selfish reasons or that the things that you do aren't part of something larger. You could literally have discussed it in front of me, but I wouldn't be able to remember it, if you triggered the enderwalking state with extreme stress or something. And who knows if there's something that I'm doing that I can't remember? I apparently can write while I'm enderwalking, so god knows what else I could be doing." Ranboo puts his head in his hands. His head hurts so bad, but there's nothing that he can do. Phil is silent on the other side of the room for a long time.

"You don't have to trust us completely, mate," Phil says softly, "From the things that you can remember, have Techno and I ever acted directly against you?"

"No."

"Do we sound like we're going to directly attack you at any given moment?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what's stopping you from trusting that we're going to be there for you? We haven't shown that we won't be there."

"But every time I get involved in the sides, people always end up fighting, and then I have to pick one side or the other."

"We aren't a side, mate. We're people."

Ranboo is quiet. He remembers that. He remembers the sign in the panic room. Pick people not sides. He's picked people before, it's ended up terribly, but he's picked everyone before. Today, he picks Techno and Phil. And tomorrow, he can pick them again, or pick someone else, or pick no one, but he can pick. The silence fills the room. And then Ranboo stands up. "There's some stuff I want to do today. Should I wait until you guys shift who's watching me?"

"Is it likely that you will get hurt and die?"

"Here? In this world? It's always a possibility, but I don't think I'm in any direct harm, no."

Phil laughs. "You are right, but if you're not going out there to start a fight with anyone, I think I can go with. Unless you would feel more comfortable with Techno."

Ranboo pauses. "No, I think you're plenty strong. Although if you don't want to go, I can wait."

"Nah, let's go." Phil stands up and grabs a cloak off the wall. "Where are we off to?"

"L'man- Where L'manberg used to be? The L'manhole? I don't know what to call it. The place that you and Techno destroyed."

Phil nods. "Let's go, then."

The walk through the nether and down the prime path is quiet and calm, something that Ranboo and Phil both seem to appreciate. The two of them pause along the prime path, looking at the vines that are trailing across the landscape. The sight of them doesn't immediately set Ranboo off, but he feels uneasy when he looks at them. They're not something that he wants to bother with, like the cause of a new war. Ranboo takes a breath and keeps walking.

"What are these?" Phil asks as he picks up one of the vines with his bare hands.

"I couldn't tell you. I think there's some...egg or something and that these are growing from it. It seems to be a problem for a lot of people. But if you just got rid of the vines, it wouldn't cause any more problems right?" Ranboo takes out a hoe from his bag, a tool that he hadn't meant to have on him, but it seems to be just the thing he needs. He brings it down on the vines, the pieces that fall off dry out almost immediately, but it's weird. It still feels alive. Ranboo looks around, finding someone's lighting in front of a house. They're not just small glass fixtures around candles, but large fire pits encased in glass. He tosses them into the fire and watches as they crumble into ash. He shrugs.

"An egg you say?" Phil says. "Has no one just thought about making a massive omelet?"

Ranboo pauses and looks at Phil and then he can't help but laugh. "I don't think anyone has thought that way about the egg."

"If it's big, then it might be enough to have a good group dinner with everyone. We would just need some other dishes and then we would be set."

Ranboo laughs again and keeps walking. "I don't think everyone would want to eat with us if you destroyed the egg to make a meal. Some people like it the way that it is."

Phil shrugs. "It would still make a good meal. But it is...odd. I wouldn't have thought an egg would have grown things like these vines. Most eggs just hatch and have a creature inside of them."

That thought sends a shiver down Ranboo's spine. He doesn't like the thought of there being a creature inside of the egg. He keeps walking down the path, making his way to the pit that is all that is left of L'manberg. He gets to where the path starts to fall apart and then he takes a breath. He looks down into the pit. Someone had put up one of the giant old flags of L'manberg down in the bottom of the pit, but there's a worrying new development. The vines are snaking up out of the pit too. This feels far away from where he's seen the bulk of the vines before. Ranboo stands there, staring down. A whisper of something in his head, a half-remembered thought. But it slips away when Phil speaks out loud.

"Someone still loves L'manberg enough to have put up a flag," he says.

Ranboo looks over. There's a tense stare on Phil's face, his hands are balled up into fists.

"People miss what was," Ranboo says. "And not that I want to go back to that time, but even I get sad thinking about it. I came here after hearing about L'manberg's election. I wanted to run for president and make it a better place. It was...silly. But it brought me here and I made friends and I think that was a good thing. So you just have to look for the good in the bad that happened." Ranboo nods. He walks away from the edge of the pit and he follows the broken path around. The vines aren't spread everywhere, but there are blooms along the ground that are bright red, things that look out of place here.

Phil and Ranboo take their time walking through the town, Phil always hanging out just a few steps behind. Ranboo circles back to the pit and walks along the edge of it back over to where his house would have been. He looks for debris from it and when he finds pieces of trunks that he had in his house, he looks for the contents. But most of what he finds is just charred items, things that were never going to be usable again. He wipes his hands off. Well, he wasn't sure what he expected. The notebook that he lost probably wasn't going to be here. But it was worth looking at. He and Phil start walking again along the path, looking around at all the buildings that are around them. Then they keep going until they're out of town. And the two stand in front of the prison.

"Did you want to go in?" Phil asks.

"No. I just...wanted to make sure that it was real again and to remind myself that Dream is in there, far away from all of us where he can't cause problems anymore."

"If Techno was here, do you think he would comment on the fact that we now know for sure that Dream has a house?"

Ranboo laughs again. "I mean none of us have seen Dream's house, so we couldn't tell for sure until now." He takes a breath. "Okay, we can head back. It was a long shot anyways that I would find the notebook like that."

Phil nods and turns to walk back towards the portal. Ranboo starts to follow when he hears a whisper of something.

"You know where the notebook is, Ranboo. Stop kidding yourself going to all these places. You just have to come to get it. It's only eleven steps awa-"

He shakes the voice out of his head, standing still.

"You alright, mate?" Phil calls back.

"Yeah!" Ranboo walks ahead and catches back up with Phil. The voice echoes in his head, but he ignores it and moves on. He can't let it get to him. He can't believe it. Even if it's part of him. He can't believe it. If he believes it, then it might tell him things. And whether or not those things are true, they're going to make him think the worst of every situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The enderspeak is readable, even if it doesn't look like it is.
> 
> :)


	8. Chapter 8

"If there was an obvious, consistent trigger, we would have noticed by now." Phil taps his fingers on the table. "So there are either multiple triggers, the trigger isn't consistent, or there are multiple inconsistent triggers."

"That really narrows down the number of things we need to keep an eye on," Techno grumbles as he runs his hands through his hair. It's down, unbraided.

The two of them have been sitting at the table for the last couple of days, looking at everything that they have about the situation with Ranboo. They want to help, but finding the right information to get Ranboo safe and sound is harder than they had anticipated. THere's a lot of things that could have been done differently for the kid, but they're not sure that they're the ones that can really protect him.

"Would you rather be the theory man today?" Phil pauses in his notes, but Techno isn't even looking at him. "That's what I thought, now shut up, mate. I just need to think this through a little bit more."

"Actually, how detailed _are_ your notes? Are we catching everything that might be relevant?"

"Super detailed, mate. More detailed than we probably need to be. There's got to be a lot of information in here that isn't going to actually point us towards what's happening with him."

The conversation drifts over to the couch where Ranboo is laying with a book. He hasn't been leaving the house since they decided to really buckle down and figure out what's causing the Enderwalking state. Ranboo has his own ideas, but he doesn't want to say, doesn't want to admit to them. If he's right, then it spells more bad than good. And if they can get there on their own, then at least it will be something that they have to come to terms with on their own. He doesn't have to force them to the conclusions that he already knows about, the things that he already feels in his bones.

"Are we getting anywhere? Is this actually the approach that we need to be taking? Maybe we should just try some of the things that we think are triggering it and see if they're working or not." Techno stands up and walks to the kitchen and puts the kettle back on the stove, heating up more water for another cup of tea. He's had multiple today already, but it seems to be the only thing keeping him going.

"Look, we are not turning him into a science experiment."

"Are there other choices right now?"

"We really about to have a fight about this, Techno? I have been here for you through a lot of shit and I have let you get away with things, but this is where I'm drawing the line. We are not turning the kid's life into a fucking science experiment just so you can figure it out faster."

"Any time that we spend wasting on these slow methods is time that we could be spending working on anything else, Phil. We have other things that we need to do."

"You agreed to do this!"

"So what?! I agreed to help, not to spend a ton of time on it." The arguing continues, a muffled set of background noise for Ranboo and his endless thoughts.

Ranboo is alone in the living room and instead of staying there, he gets up and goes down the stairs into the basement and opens the door there. In the pen next to the doors, there are a couple foxes that Techno brought back home the other day. Ranboo climbs over the fence and sits on the ground in the pen, playing with the foxes. They're not very vicious, although Techno thought they would be. There's a lot going on and it's been weeks of dead ends. He understands why Techno is getting impatient. Other things are happening out there. He's got his notebook and he's been taking notes on everything that's going on and flips through it. He's heard about the news in other areas. There are the egg and the vines that are getting worse. People are splitting off, some of them going far away from everything, some of them staying closer. There are groups. God, he hates that there are groups. Techno doesn't seem to see any of them as threats yet, but Ranboo has heard from letters about the things that people are doing. And he's worried about everyone picking those insides instead of the people that they should pick.

He stands up and gets out of the pen, fluffing up the foxes' fur before he goes back into the house and back up the stairs. The two are silent in the kitchen now, both not looking at him and not looking at each other.

"Mate, I think you need a break," Phil says quietly.

"Everyone needs a break," Ranboo chimes in, "I think that all three of us haven't been going outside enough. Can we go somewhere else other than the field near the house? How about checking on the egg?"

There's a moment of punctuated silence as the two of them look at each other and Techno sighs before rubbing his face and sitting down to braid his hair. He nods and that's all Ranboo needs to hear to look for his bag and make sure that everything that he's going to need out in the field is in there. He sorts through his things and hums. The other two have settled back into a calmer quiet, some fight settled between the two of them that Ranboo doesn't really care about if he's honest. Their fight is their business and not his, even if he's at the center of it. He doesn't want them to fight of course, but it's just the three of them out here and someone was going to get on someone else's nerves anyways. It wouldn't have been his fault if he had kept silent, but this arguing was a long time coming.

The three head out of the house and to the nether. Ranboo walks in front, humming as he goes, having a good time being out of the snow. He likes the cold, but the heat is a welcome change of pace. Ranboo adjusts his bag on his back, feeling suddenly aware of where he was taking them. There were things that he wanted to look at, things that might be helpful for them, but more helpful for him. But he's afraid of it.

"Perhaps you should tell us where you're lookin' to go, Ranboo," Techno says from behind him as they walk through the portal that leads to the community house.

"Uh, well. I know that you guys are looking for the reasons why my brain is triggering the Enderwalking, so I thought we could back to one that I'm pretty sure has triggered it a couple times and actually look at it instead of just having me describe the spot again."

"Lucky this kid actually listens to us when we argue," Techno mumbles.

"Look, Ranboo, we don't want to push you to do anything that's going to make you uncomfortable. So if this place makes you uncomfortable, we can leave."

"I know! I know! I want to come here. I want to figure it out too. I...don't mind being a little bit of a science experiment if it means that I'm going to be able to figure out what's happening to me." Ranboo turns around and gives them a smile as he walks across the landscape to get back to his panic room. He's putting on a strong face, but his hands shake a little as he gives them a thumbs up.

"Not going to lie, that's not very convincing that you're okay with this." Techno shakes his head. "You need to figure out a better way of lying or just stop lying about how you're feeling about the situation."

"Good advice from someone willing to turn him into a science experiment," Phil scoffs. Techno punches his shoulder and shakes his head.

The group lulls back into a comfortable silence and they get to the panic room. Techno and Phil don't say anything as they watch Ranboo dip down into the water and then through into the room. Techno and Phil follow him and the three of them huddle in the space. The papers on the wall are the same as they always were. But something is missing, Ranboo thinks. He's not sure what can't put his finger on it.

"How many times did you come here?" Techno asks. "And how many times do you think you slipped into the Enderwalking state?"

"I think I only came here to get away from the chaos a handful of times. I didn't want to come back after a while. I can't remember exactly and that notebook that had that information is gone."

"Since you can't remember exactly, just...take this notebook and write down everything and anything about this room that makes you feel...anxious? Scared? We can sort through the notes at a later date."

Ranboo takes the notebook and starts writing. They don't spend a ton of time in the room before they leave. Ranboo is the last one out and when he looks at the room again, he feels the anxiety closing in. There's a sign there that makes him feel worse now that he's alone. It's just the note that says "It's Dream's fault." He wants to pull it down and not ever look at it again. He already wrote down that that sign, in particular, makes him anxious, but that reaction is stronger than it was before.

After he climbs out, the trio goes past L'manberg, looking for places that Ranboo remembers waking up at randomly, but the places are mostly gone. And eventually, the group starts heading back towards the portal. Instead of heading straight back to the house, Ranboo goes back to his place, digging through the chests there. He's woken up in the basement of his house more than once feeling like things were off. He digs through the chests, while Techno and Phil ramble in the background, looking over notes about the places they went so far. And that's when Ranboo finds it.

"So...there's something in this chest that I don't like that's making me feel like the panic room again. It's...uh..." He holds out the paper, hand trembling as he holds it because he can feel his mind starting to go blank. He's not certain why this paper is here or how it got there and when Techno reaches out for it, he snatches it back again. After all, if they look at this, it might suggest something terrible about him and would they help him if he was-

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Techno says and takes the paper from Ranboo's hands. But it looks like Ranboo's looking through him. His eyes fuzz over and then they calm down. Techno looks down at the paper. It's just a thank you with a smiley face on it. Techno tilts his head and looks at Ranboo.

"☊⏁⍀⌇⟒, ⋔⎎⟒ ⟊⋉⎎'☊⌿ ⍙⋉⋉⎐⏁⊬⍀ ⌰⟒ ⌖⌿ ⌰⊑⍾⎎⍙⍙⟊ ⎅⎎⎅⏃⏁⋏⏁⋉⎎⎅⍙⟊, ⟒⌿⋏⌇⊬⋉. ⏁⎅ ⟒⌇⌿☊⌿ ⌰ ⏚⎎⌿⎅⟒⏁⋉⊬ ⟊⋉⎎ ⊑⌰⊬⟒ ⟒⋉ ⌰⎅⎐ ⌰⋔⋉⎎⟒ ⟒⌇⌰⟒ ⏃⌰⏃⌿☊? ⋉☊ ⍜⋉ ⟊⋉⎎ ⟒⌇⏁⊬⎐ ⟊⋉⎎ ⌰⍙☊⌿⌰⍜⟊ ⎐⊬⋉⊑ ⟒⌇⌿ ⌰⊬⎅⊑⌿☊?"

"I can't believe that happened right in front of us," Phil says, grabbing the paper from Techno. He looks it over and then looks carefully at Ranboo again. "Was it seriously just this that triggered it?"

"Nothing else in that chest, so it must be this. And he said that it reminded him of the panic room," Techno says, looking still at Ranboo, who is staring at him, barely smiling, but looking pleasant enough.

"Guess we'll just have to watch him for the day and chalk this note up under the things that can trigger the Enderwalking state. We can always look at what this seems to relate to with other places that he thought were connected." Phil tucks the paper into his own bag. He looks up at Ranboo too. "Mate, I know that you can't talk back to us, but let's go back to the house and do something calm for a bit, alright?"

"⎅⋉⌖⌿⟒⌇⏁⊬⍀ ⟒⌿⍙⍙⎅ ⌖⌿ ⟒⌇⌰⟒ ⟊⋉⎎ ⟒⊑⋉ ⊑⋉⎎⍙⍜⊬'⟒ ⍙⌿⟒ ⌖⌿ ⍀⋉ ⌰⊬⟊⊑⌇⌿☊⌿ ⌿⍙⎅⌿, ⊑⌇⏁⋏⌇ ⏁⎅ ⌰ ⎅⌇⌰⌖⌿. ⏁ ⌇⌰⍜ ⟒⌇⏁⊬⍀⎅ ⟒⌇⌰⟒ ⏁ ⊑⌰⊬⟒⌿⍜ ⟒⋉ ⍀⌿⟒ ⍜⋉⊬⌿ ⟒⋉⍜⌰⟊. ⋔⎎⟒ ⏁ ⋏⌰⊬ ⊑⌰⏁⟒, ⏁ ⌇⌰☌⌿ ⌰⍙⍙ ⟒⌇⌿ ⏃⌰⟒⏁⌿⊬⋏⌿ ⏁⊬ ⟒⌇⌿ ⊑⋉☊⍙⍜."

Ranboo smiles at them, all teeth. And he doesn't stop smiling until the others turn away and start to make their way back up. His eyes flicker to a portion of the wall, looking at it carefully before he follows them up and out of his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reaDing thIs fic! i hope thAt you're stilL enjOying it. the ender lanGuage Uses a ciphEr that has already been decoded in a previous chapter. you can check the comments on chapter 7 for the key, if you would like.
> 
> there might be something else hidden in this chapter. there might not be. i'm just having fun now.
> 
> if i keep adding hidden messages and codes, these chapters make take a bit longer to get out, so would you rather continue to see codes or just have me get on with the story?
> 
> :)


	9. Chapter 9

Things had calmed a little. Techno and Phil studied words and tried to figure out everything that they hadn't had the chance to learn about the language that Ranboo was speaking, but there wasn't a lot that they had managed to learn during all that time. The smile was the only hint that they had and the only thing that they had figured out was that he was triggered by something that had to do with Dream.

"When was the last time you talked to Dream?" Techno asks, sitting at the table. This isn't a new question. They've had this conversation before. This is just the most recent iteration of the conversation.

"I saw him during the stand-off with Tommy, Tubbo, and everyone else. Well, you guys weren't there. You were the only ones that weren't there, actually," Ranboo says, mulling over the details, "And then...I think I went to Pandora's Vault once. Sam could confirm that, but I don't know where he is or if he's going to be willing to talk to you guys about it. He's always been protective about information around the prison."

Techno nods, making a note on a piece of paper. So you definitely have memory problems around Dream and what he's doing, but I mean, if your memories are blocked by stress, then that would be understandable. There's a lot of things that Dream has done that could stress someone out. He's stressful to think about to even the average person."

Ranboo nods, the words on the tip of his tongue to tell Techno whose voice has been in his head for months. But there's something about the look that Phil gives him that makes him pause. It's not that Phil would do anything, but there's a worry on Phil's face that makes Ranboo anxious. And he doesn't want to do anything to make that face last any longer than it has to.

"You've got a letter today, by the way," Techno says, pulling the piece of paper out of a pocket in his cloak and holding it out to Ranboo, "From Sapnap of all people."

"What?" Ranboo asks. "That's...why would Sapnap be writing to me?"

"Couldn't tell you."

Ranboo looks at the paper and then at Techno and Phil. He opens it and tilts his head. "He wants to meet up. Something about something he wants to pass onto me."

Phil and Techno look at each other. "Is there something that connects you two?" Phil asks.

"Not that I'm aware of, but I mean I shouldn't ignore his message. He wants to meet tomorrow at the community center."

"Then that's where we'll go," Phil says.

"We'll be there, but we won't get in the way of whatever conversation you two are having," Techno says with a nod and a sharp look at Phil. There's a spark of anger between the two, not something that Ranboo is certain he can change. The two have been arguing more and more. They keep switching how they want to look at the situation. Phil was fine with going slow, but after the note, after him speaking Ender in the house, that set something off for Phil. There had been a shift afterward. Techno hadn't become kinder, but he was now the kinder of the two. Ranboo takes a breath and then nods.

"I'll just...go read or something until I fall asleep, then," Ranboo says and then goes to the couch, where he settles in. He misses his own bed from time to time, but it's nice to be around people, nice to know that there are people out there that cared.

And the night passes by slowly, lethargically. It's not a bad time, the way that it goes. But Ranboo can't help but think about the fact that there are things that he'd like to do, places he'd like to go, but he feels tied down to the house while they're working like they are. He's made sure to let them have the time that they can to get other things done. And being not a problem takes a lot more energy than he expects.

\---

Morning finds Ranboo standing in the kitchen. There's no one else around when he really comes to and he slinks back to the couch and lays down, covering himself in a blanket. He takes out his notebook and makes a small note. This isn't the first time this has happened. It's like the sleepwalking state or Enderwalking has realized that he's not allowed to go far from the house and has locked him into staying near the house, locked him into staying in the walls.

Would it be better if it took him outside again?

Of course not. That's a dumb thought. He shakes his head and tries to remove that thought from his head. The Enderwalking took him to places that he wouldn't have known, probably past things that he should never be near. Ranboo closes his eyes again and tries to have normal dreams, tries to think of a regular world. Eventually, sleep grabs him again and he slips back into the peace of it all.

Phil comes downstairs first and sees that Ranboo is asleep on the couch. Even in his sleep, the kid looks stressed. Phil sighs, trying to cut back the anxiety that he feels when he looks at Ranboo. There's something off about the kid knowing that he can slip into that other state without real warning and in a way that means that someone else might be communicating with him. Phil doesn't like feeling paranoid, but when you've lived as long as he had, there's some necessary paranoia when you see someone that doesn't fit right.

Past the living room, the kitchen waits for Phil. But there's something else, ingredients out on the table. Phil looks back at Ranboo, but the kid's definitely asleep. Phil walks up to the boxes and bottles and looks at all of them, making a list of them and the order they were out in. This is just one of the many things that they've started doing since everything was getting weird out here. They've been keeping notes about all the things that change in the house, the way that things move around, the way that things shift when no one else is around.

But after making the list, he realizes something. There's something missing from the list of herbs. And then he goes through the ingredients and herbs again, really looking for the one that's bothering him.

Thyme.

They're out of thyme.

\---

Far away, but not long ago, Dream sits in his cell, watching Sam remove more pieces of obsidian, just to set down crying obsidian in its place. It's done over and over through the cell, making sure that there's no way for Dream to make his way out of the cell. Dream watches from behind his mask, humming to himself. He repeats the song a couple of times until Sam pauses in his work and adjusts his gas mask while he looks at Dream.

"Why the hell are you humming Mellohi on repeat?" Sam asks.

Dream just shrugs his shoulders.

"Right, you're on a speaking strike still." Sam shakes his head and returns to his work.

Silently, Dream laughs to himself and then he looks at the other wall. There's nothing there for him to look at, but Sam keeps an eye on him.

When the cell is fixed just the way that Sam wants, Dream stands up and goes to stand in front of the clock that he's promised not to burn. He watches the hands tick away the seconds, minutes, hours. There are so many things that he will be able to do when he's out of the prison, but he takes a breath, tries to reign himself in.

There are still hours of waiting left.

\---

Ranboo opens his eyes again, the black of obsidian and the drip of crying stones an imprint in his head. The dreams of the panic room have been getting more frequent too. He presses his palms to his eyes and tries to ground himself in the present moment. There's the couch, the light coming in through the window. There's Phil humming in the kitchen. There's the smell of food. He uses it all to put himself in the moment. And then he hears Techno walking down the stairs, heavy thuds on the ground. Ranboo sits up and looks at Techno.

The pig-hybrid is already staring at him. There's no surprise on Techno's face at the fact that Ranboo is awake right now. "You look a little...well not pale, but sick."

"I feel a little sick," Ranboo says, "Bad dreams."

"What were you dreaming about?"

"The panic room."

"Again?"

Ranboo just nods.

"Even though you haven't been there in so long? That's weird. I think maybe we need to start paying a little bit more attention to that side of things. There's no way that that's a coincidence."

Ranboo shrugs. "But nothing really happened, I didn't go anywhere, so what are we supposed to do with that information?"

"Catalogue it and see if something comes from tracking it. Did you sleepwalk last night?"

"Yeah, to the kitchen."

Techno nods and then moves past him to go into the kitchen. Phil is already looking look at him. Phil points at the notebook that's sitting on the counter. "You need to look at my notes, mate," Phil says before he goes back to the food and focuses on making sure that he's not burning the food there.

Techno nods and goes to the notebook, reading through all the notes about how the kitchen was found. "Thyme being gone? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, but we know that that message is meant for us. It wasn't meant for him, it's for us, Techno. So have you gone to see Dream yet?"

Techno shakes his head. "That's where I was going to go today, but if Sapnap wants to see Ranboo..."

"Please, go as soon as you can," Phil says. "If Dream is connected to Ranboo, then maybe he'll let something slip about what's happening. Sapnap's letter didn't give a time, so we can still go that way after you're done at the prison. Or if you get stuck there, I'll take Ranboo on my own."

Techno nods. "After breakfast, I'll head over that way. But be kind to him if you have to take him on your own. Your paranoia is making him more anxious."

Phil rolls his eyes and then goes back to the food that he's making. He brought plates of food to the table and then he calls for the other two to come to sit down and eat.

The meal was quiet and calm. The three of them ate in silence and they didn't talk about much, they didn't share any words about the situation. There was just the acknowledgment that Techno was going to be out for the morning. When Techno left the house, it was just Phil and Ranboo. Ranboo went to go sit with the animals in the pen outside, just to spend time with something soft and calming. Phil didn't call for him, didn't have anything for him to do.

Phil spent his time with the notes. The two sat far away from each other, thinking about their respective problems with the situation. Ranboo with the increasing number of dreams and the fact that he kept dreaming of a place outside of the house. Phil with the message in the herbs.

\---

Techno stands in front of Pandora's Vault, staring up at the black structure. "I like the aesthetic, but it seems a little over the top," he mutters before he walks into the entrance and hits the button to start the intercom. He hears the static and listens until there's the sound of someone being summoned.

"Hello?" Sam's voice comes through, a little confused.

"I was hopin' to have a little chat with that prisoner of yours, Sam," Techno says, "Would that be possible?"

"Oh, Techno. Of course, of course. You can come in and speak to Dream today. Go ahead and come through the first portal."

Techno nods to himself then shakes his head when he realizes that Sam can't see him. "Alright," he says out loud before he walks through the portal, finding himself in a new space, one that he doesn't recognize. It looks the same as the other room, but it feels off.

"And come back through the portal," Sam says, his voice broadcast still inside of the room. Techno turns back around and walks through the portal to find himself standing inside of the prison. There are gates and levers and buttons everywhere, but Techno keeps his eyes on the man with the gas mask in front of him.

"Good to see you, Sam," Techno says, "I hope you've been doin' well?"

Sam blinks once as he looks at him. "You've never really cared much about how I was going."

Techno shrugs. "I'm trying to be personable."

Sam nods. "Well anyway, you're not here to say hello to me, you're here to see the prisoner. So let's just run through a couple of questions."

"Alright."

"When was the last time you were at the prison?"

"Never."

"Right. And where are you living these days?"

"Up north, far away from the chaos that was L'manberg."

"Uh-huh." Sam flips over a page. "Do you think the prisoner deserves to be locked up?"

Techno shrugs. "It makes little difference to me, but for the crimes that he committed against you guys for as long as he committed them, then yes."

Sam looks carefully at Techno. "What about you? Should you be locked up here too?"

Techno tilts his head. "Is that a threat I hear you sayin'?"

"I'm asking the questions here, Techno."

Techno puts his hands up. "Based on the way that you guys think, yes. I should probably be locked up. But I would also argue that Quackity, Tubbo, Fundy, and Ranboo would need to be charged with their crimes, too. I was put on a fake trial and had to get out of my own execution because their government decided I didn't need a chance to defend myself. Are you suggesting that you will also lock me up without proving my guilt?"

Sam puts his hand on his weapon when he watched Techno shift his sword. "I'm not here to be the one to pass judgment and decide who goes where. I'm just making sure that people that are going to cause problems don't get into or out of this prison. I've heard things about you owing Dream. I just wanted to know where you were with them."

"I'm not lookin' for anything but a couple of answers from Dream that could help someone else out. That's it. That's all I'm here for, Sam. I'm not goin' to get him out of your impressively built prison."

Sam accepts that answer and the two of them walk through the prison, quietly moving together until they get to the wall of lava that's being interrupted to allow Techno to go across to visit Dream, who's sitting quietly in his cell. It's like he expected this.

"Who are you trying to help, Techno?" Sam asks quietly, "Not that you have to tell me, but-"

"Ranboo," Techno says, "Kid came to Phil and I after some stuff happened. We're just trying to do right by someone that was displaced by a fight that we finished."

Sam nods. "Walk along the path as it moves. The lava will resume its flow behind you. Let me know when you're ready to be let out. Until then...good luck with him, Techno."

Techno doesn't look back, he walks forward, capeless, weaponless, and crownless to face Dream. When he's in the cell and the lava is flowing, the barrier between Dream and Techno lowers.

"I didn't expect to see you here, Techno," Dream says, "At least, not until I wanted to use my favor."

"Too bad that I'm not here for that," Techno says, "Would you like to start with pleasantries or would you like to get to business?"

Dream pushes his mask up and off his face, letting it clatter to the ground. "Business, I think. I've got plans and I don't want to waste all my time talking to you." Dream grins, his mouth full of teeth almost like fangs.

Techno stares at Dream's face, something about the way he moves is familiar. He's talked to Dream before, but this is different than that. He reminds Techno of someone else.

"Let's get serious, Techno," Dream says, "And let's talk about Ranboo."

Techno's eyes widen for a second and he put his hand on his hip, looking for a weapon that's not there.

"Oh, come now. You had to have known that I would figure it out. There are only so many people you're talking to now. And I know that Tommy isn't one of them anymore."

Techno crosses his arms across his chest. "Did you want to talk about the traitor? Since he is the reason why you're in here."

Dream barks out a laugh and then shakes his head. "I didn't realize you were still angry with him."

Techno doesn't say another word but stares down Dream.

"Ranboo, right. That's the one you wanted to talk about." He stands up and goes over to his stack of books. "I know a lot about Ranboo. More than he might know when he's talking to you guys. Since, y'know, the Enderwalk remembers more than he does normally."

"And what else do you know about this Enderwalk thing?" Techno keeps his face even and still, but he knows that Dream is looking for the details in his face. If he betrays what he does or doesn't know, then Dream will just twist that knife in that wound until he can turn it around for his own purposes.

"Well, I know enough of his language to be able to talk to him, which I'm guessing is where you are getting stuck right now. Phil's books aren't enough?"

"It's not like we expected that we would be talking to someone that speaks a dead language. How did you learn the language?"

"That's not really important, is it, Techno? You just want to have more information about how to help Ranboo, right? The most I can tell you is that you're not going to be able to help him."

"What?"

"He doesn't need any help. He's doing exactly as he's always wanted to, even if he doesn't remember why."

Techno fixes Dream with a stare. "And what is it that he's wanting to do?"

"Help out a dear old friend of his." Dream smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, I didn't mean to go almost a week without updating, have a longer chapter to make up for it.
> 
> :)


	10. Chapter 10

The snow has started falling when Techno gets back to the house. It's still early enough in the day that he expects to see both Phil and Ranboo in the house. He finds Ranboo first, sitting in the pen with a fox in his lap. He passes by without saying a word. The kid's asleep anyway, so he's probably not going anywhere. Inside, Phil is staring at books and notes, trying to parse out the language that Ranboo has been speaking and writing in. "Any luck?" Techno asks as he sits down at the table, cloak and mask settled on hooks near the door.

Phil shakes his head. "There's not enough books on the subject to get us a good translation, really. I'm going to have to go look for more books on the subject after we take Ranboo to see Sapnap. Maybe someone will have some books that they aren't using that will contain the secrets. There's more than a couple of libraries that I know people have out there."

Techno nods. "Makes sense. Those people out there really collect things without thinkin' of the value the items have. Dream, on the other hand, was...not helpful in the way I wanted, but I think it brings up an unfortunate truth."

Phil looks up from his books, looking directly at Techno.

"I think Ranboo's working for or with Dream. And I think that whatever happens later with Sapnap could have ramifications for what happens next for everyone, not just us. But I think we have to let him see Sapnap."

"You still think that we should take him to see Sapnap, even though we're convinced that he's working for Dream? That's two people that are associated with him in one spot. I can't see that ending well for anyone involved, especially if your gut is already suspicious of it."

"I think we'll learn more if we let them meet up. We'll be right there, there's no way for Ranboo to really get in that much trouble if we're right there."

Phil's brows furrow as he thinks about the proposal. "Alright, mate. I trust you to make sure that he's not going to do anything. But just...I don't like this."

Techno looks out the window for a long moment. "I don't like it either."

\---

Ranboo wakes up in the pen with the fox and he rests his hand on the soft fur of the fox. He yawns and then looks up to see Techno and Phil staring at him.

"What is it?"

"Time to go and visit Sapnap at the community center," Techno says. "You weren't waking up, so I've been throwing rocks at you for the last like 30 minutes."

Ranboo looks down at himself and finds that there are indeed piles of rocks that are all over his person. He shakes his head and moves the fox out of his lap so that he can climb out of the pen. "Sorry about that. I just...was having a really nice nap, I guess."

Techno nods and then starts leading the way towards their portal. Ranboo follows along behind, thinking about how he got in the pen. The day seemed normal enough, but there are times now where he questions himself more than normal. After all, what kind of normal is there left in this world with the way that everything has been going.

When they walk through the portal, they can already see Sapnap in the community house. He's facing away from the portal, so Phil and Techno move out of view. And Ranboo walks ahead.

"Hey Sapnap," Ranboo says as he walks into the refurbished community house. He can't help but take a glance around at it. The place looks great since they remade it.

"Hey, Ranboo! How are you doing, man?" Sapnap raises his hand up to offer a high five, which Ranboo meets half-heartedly.

"I'm doing good, I suppose," Ranboo says. "You said you had something you wanted to pass onto me?"

"Yeah," Sapnap says taking a step back and rubbing his head. "Listen, this might sound weird. But it's from Dream. I visited him in prison a couple days ago and he had this whole speaking strike thing going on...it's not important. The part that is important is that he asked me to pass this on." Sapnap reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket. "Sam inspected it before we left, so it shouldn't be like weird or anything."

Ranboo takes the piece of paper and looks at it carefully. It's folded in half like it's secret. And when he opens it, he realizes that the page has probably come through another of his notebooks. There's smudged writing that looks like his, but on top of it, clearly written in the same handwriting that was on the other page in his journal, it reads:

"I miss having you visit. I don't know why you stopped visiting, so it would be nice you stopped by again. Or at least give Sam a note to give to me. :)"

Ranboo's hands shake for a second as he looks at the page. Sapnap watches him carefully, a little anxiously when he notices the shaking of his hands. As quickly as the shaking came on, it's gone again. And Ranboo's eyes look like he's looking at something a thousand miles away.

"Ranboo?" Sapnap says.

Ranboo turns his head to look at Sapnap and gives him a smile before he turns around and starts leaving the area. "⟊⋉⎎ ⎅⌇⋉⎎⍙⍜ ⍀⋉ ⎅⋉⌖⌿⊑⌇⌿☊⌿ ⎅⌰⍾⌿, ⎅⌰⏃⊬⌰⏃. ⟒⋉⌖⋉☊☊⋉⊑ ⏁⎅ ⍀⋉⏁⊬⍀ ⟒⋉ ⋔⌿ ⋔⌰⍜. ⌰⊬⍜ ⏁'⌖ ⋏⌿☊⟒⌰⏁⊬ ⟒⌇⌰⟒ ⟊⋉⎎ ⍜⋉⊬'⟒ ⊑⌰⊬⟒ ⟒⋉ ⋔⌿ ⌖⏁⟟⌿⍜ ⎎⏃ ⏁⊬ ⏁⟒, ⊬⋉ ⌖⌰⟒⟒⌿☊ ⊑⌇⋉'⎅ ⏁⊬☌⋉⍙☌⌿⍜."

"Ranboo?!" Sapnap says again as Ranboo turns around and starts walking out of the community center, back in the direction of the portal. He follows the enderman-hybrid up the stairs and past the portal and down the path.

Ranboo stops and looks back at Sapnap with a small smile. "⍀⋉ ⋔⌰⋏⎐ ⌇⋉⌖⌿, ⎅⌰⏃⊬⌰⏃.⏁'⍙⍙ ⋔⌿ ⍾⏁⊬⌿."

Sapnap pauses and watches as Ranboo waves at him. He raises his own hand and waves back. "This doesn't feel like it was the right thing," Sapnap sighs to himself and looks back at all the buildings that his friends built together and everything that they've done. He takes a breath and then turns back around and walks back to the community center, then turning and walking, then running, down the path towards the prison. There's something wrong and it has to do with Dream.

"After he promised to behave," Sapnap shouts. He shakes his head in frustration as he rushes forward.

\---

Phil and Techno watch as Ranboo walks across the landscape. Phil moves first, launches himself into motion to follow Ranboo across the landscape. Techno is the one that hesitates, looks between Ranboo and Sapnap. He eventually makes the decision to go after Sapnap. But it's Phil chasing that causes Ranboo to do something out of the ordinary. At first, Phil doesn't think about it, but there's a moment when he blinks and Ranboo is just a couple steps away from where he should be. And then it happens again when he doesn't blink. Ranboo's teleporting, sidestepping across the landscape, doing something that he's never done before.

"Ranboo, get back here," Phil shouts.

Ranboo pauses for a moment to look back at Phil and answer. "⏁'⌖ ⋔⎎⎅⟊, ⏃⌇⏁⍙! ⏃⍙⌿⌰⎅⌿ ⍀⋉ ⌇⋉⌖⌿.⏁'⍙⍙ ⋔⌿ ⟒⌇⌿☊⌿ ⎅⋉⋉⊬." And then he's off again, walking quickly across the landscape, the teleportation going faster and faster until suddenly Ranboo is out of sight.

Phil reaches into his pocket, pulling out ender pearls and throwing them across the landscape, but when Phil lands, there's no one else there. Ranboo is out of sight, so far gone that there's not even the sound of a telltale vwoop in the air. Phil stands in the wilderness, looking out for the sight of any kind of light, but there's nothing there. Phil stands there, listening to the wind, feeling the wind along the edges of his burned wings. If he could fly, this would be easier. But he can't. And that's the problem. Phil lets out a huff and then he turns around and walks back towards the main area. He'll have to find Techno and figure out what's happened here.

He runs down the paths, back the way that he saw Sapnap head after he turned away from Ranboo. He pauses on the wooden path and then looks around. The night is quiet. And he's lived long enough to feel the storm in his bones. He turns around and heads back to the portal, heading all the way back home. Techno can find him there. He needs to start getting things ready for whatever's going to come.

\---

"SAM!" Sapnap yells at the portal, pressing the intercom button over and over.

Techno rushes into the entrance and looks at Sapnap, fury on his face. "What did you do to Ranboo, Sapnap?"

"I didn't do anything," Sapnap says over his shoulder and then he continues to punch the intercom button. "It's all...fucking Dream's fault. I thought he was going to be good, but now it looks like he's done something and I don't know what, but I'm-"

"Dream did this?" Techno steps forward, ax in hand. "Your friend Dream did this?"

"He's not my friend, not right now, anyway," Sapnap says. "Don't raise your ax against me now, Technoblade. I didn't want to do something like that and now I'm worried that Dream's fucking lying about more things and if he's trying to get out of the prison, I want to be there to stop him myself." His hand is on the hilt of the sword strapped to his back. He looks at Techno and the two of them are posed to start a fight when they hear Sam's voice.

"I can't come to the entrance right now, what's this about, Sapnap?"

Sapnap removes his hand and looks at the intercom. "Is Dream still locked in there?"

"Yes, but there's been some....security concerns," Sam says, "I'm handling it with the guards. Dream's secure for the moment."

"How many times did Ranboo come to the prison, Sam?" Techno shouts from the other side of the room.

"Techno? Why are you here? Is there something wrong?"

"Answer the question."

"More than anyone else. He didn't say much to me except the first time to ask if he could carry his book through so he could remember-"

"Did you make sure he had it on him the last time he visited, entering and exiting?"

"I-"

The silence is deafening.

"I didn't on the way out."

Techno hisses in frustration and slams his ax into the ground. The blade snaps a tile in half and embeds itself into the ground. "I am sick and tired of that green bastard causing problems for no reason other than his own gain. He's...done something to Ranboo. Or even if he hasn't done something, he's got Ranboo doing work for him. If Ranboo comes by, you need to chase him off immediately. You need to restrain him, stop him, do anything you need to stop him from getting close to your prison." He grabs the ax and pulls it out of the ground and walks out of the prison, leaving Sapnap there.

Sapnap looks at the intercom. "Just...tell me if something happens with Dream. I want to make sure that I'm ready and waiting if he decides to get out."

"Right," Sam says, "I understand. I'll focus on keeping him here. Maybe help Techno with Ranboo? It sounds like if Dream gets out, that's the first person that will know where he is."

Sapnap doesn't answer, just leaves the prison, running along the path, heading back to his home, to his own base where his armor waits for him.

\---

Techno sprints across the landscape. Phil took off after Ranboo, but if there was any doubt about the situation that they were in, he was going to run back to the house, get supplies, prepare for the worst. Phil is reliable at least. He gets through the Nether and then runs across the arctic tundra quickly. He sees the light on at home and finds Phil inside, potions brewing, metal smelting. The house is warm with activity and Phil looks like a man possessed.

"Helping that kid is going to be the death of us," Phil says as soon as he sees Techno. "I don't know what's gotten into him, but he's teleporting now. He teleported so quickly ahead of us that I couldn't do anything to stop him."

"Sapnap confirmed that it is actually Dream's doing for whatever happened with Ranboo." Techno pauses. "I don't want to be betrayed again, but that kid has been nothing but kind to us before this, Phil. He's tried his best. He's a bit misguided, a little bit hypocritical, but in the same ways that we've been, for his own purposes which have been infinitely better than ours. He's tried his best. And I can't...I know that Tommy turned around and betrayed us, but I have to believe that Ranboo won't."

Phil stares at Techno and sighs. "I will hope for the best and expect the worst here, Techno, but I refuse to let anything happen to you because of another dumb kid that came here and thought that he could do something."

Techno stares at Phil for a moment. "So we don't know where Ranboo went, but we know that he's connected to Dream. We know that he's bound to either show up here or there at the prison."

"But we know that we're out of time," Phil says, "That was the message we got. Whatever, whoever, Ranboo is when he Enderwalks left it for us. Does that mean for us or for everyone?"

"It was in my home, Phil. In the kitchen where you usually go first thing in the morning. It's a message for us, for me and you."

Phil stares at Techno and then he hears timers go off and he sets into motion. "Move everything important down into the base," Phil says, "I have a bad feeling."

\---

Ranboo p _ **a**_ ce _ **s** **above**_ the base that he's made in his spare time, far away from the others. Oh, you thought that we would never see this side? I hate to tell you, but I'm just as unreliable as these characters. But I'm not important. He is. And he's pacing again, like always. But this time, he knows it all. He knows the truth. He knows what he's promised to do for his dear old friend. He knows what he's up against. It's not just Sam and the guards. It's Sapnap, who he can't kill because Dream would never forgive him for that. It's Phil, who has had his eyes on Ranboo for a while when he realized that he wasn't trustworthy. It's Techno, who trusted again when he _**s**_ h _ **o**_ uldn't have.

 _ **Below**_ him, there's quite a lot of work, all the resources that he's managed to gather while he's been the one in control put into one place. Oh, of course, he left things for his other side to find. He could've hidden things better, let himself forget.

No, forgetting this time around wasn't going to be helpful. He's made promises after all and this is the best way to help them all. They'll be one big happy family again very soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **:)**  
> 
> 
> _  
> **hasucmc ag xvthpef bz hci nwdxzfo, afd J kvwf'h ulp jeclos. gj azc jw oceny tis rvahjrr?**  
> _
> 
> remember, keys will match their locks. the key was located, no hints will be provided.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sorry that it took me so long to sit down and write this, my brain has been focused on other projects)

Ranboo stands silently at the edge of the crater that was L'manberg. He has been here many times before this moment and he's fairly certain that he's going to be here time and time again. He remembers how he got here because he has always known how he got from place to place. There's no secret about it. Just because he sometimes can't remember doesn't mean that the knowledge was gone from his head. He just needed the right frame of mind to get access to all of it. And like he is now, he knows everything. He knows the plans that he's carrying out and who's next on the list of people to talk to. But that's none of your business who it is or what he's doing. _:)_

He curls his fingers around the spine of the notebook in his hand, willing his mind to slip. It's as easy as willing himself back to a place of forgetfulness. He smiles to himself just as he teeters on the edge of forgetting. Not knowing what's coming sometimes feels better than knowing exactly where he's going and what he's doing.

And his eyes flutter shut for a moment, his mind slipping away and then coming back to a place where he can't remember the plans that he's carrying around inside of his head, even if the knowledge is right under his fingertips in the notebook.

Ranboo looks down at the notebook for a moment and tilts his head. It looks more worn now, but it wasn't that long ago that he was looking at it. He opens the notebook and finds that many of his notes have been scribbled over with new messages, still written in the same language as before. He looks around, no Techno or Phil with him to help him figure out where he's been or what he's been doing. The morning is quiet and cool, but it unnerves him to be standing out in the open like this. He continues to flip through the pages, finding the same message written over and over and over.

\--- ?⋉⍙⋏ ⍜⎐⍾⌇⍙⍙⏁ ☊⍙☌ ⋔⋉⟟ ⏃⏚⋔⋉☍⋔⏃ ⏚⟟⌿⟒ ---

Of course, he can't read the message, can't tell what it's telling him. He doesn't know where to begin. It could be _backward_ or upside down or coded and he would never know. He sighs as he looks at it and then he tries to look for anything that looks remotely normal under all of the foreign ender language there. He finds notes about Sapnap wanting to see him, but there's nothing after that, there's just the overlapping messages over and over and over. Ranboo rubs his head. He could find Sapnap, ask him about the events that happened, but would it make it better? Would it be better to know?

He rubs his head again and then turns around to walk away from the crater and make his way along the path back to the portal. At the very least, he can go back home and see where Phil and Techno are. He follows the path, looking around the area. The vines are still everywhere and if he could remember just how thick they were before, he would be able to tell if this is better or worse than it was before. The memories are a little blurry at the edges, but he's pretty certain that there are more vines around the area. He's certain at least that they weren't this thick on the ground if they were there already.

He pauses at the portal, looking over his shoulder. It's like there's someone there watching him. But then the feeling is gone and he feels safe again. And he runs through the portal, along the precarious paths, and makes his way back to his house once more. But as he crests the hill, he realizes that there is something very wrong with the situation. Where Techno's house once stood there is a pile of snowed-over rubble. He stares at it for a moment, confused about how this could even happen. And then he runs forward towards the house. He digs it up, the snow on top of it means that this happened a while ago.

"How long was I not...here? How long was I gone? What did I miss? _What did I do?_ "

The panic wells up in his chest and he's this close to crying, but he knows that he shouldn't. He doesn't know if Techno and Phil are just gone or if they're hiding. They're smart, they had to have seen it coming.

Ranboo looks around the rubble and finds odds and ends, but everything that made it through the fire looks pointless. He has no way of leaving a note, no way of looking for them and that's the worst part. There's no way to tell them what's going on. The only people he thought he had on his side and now they're gone.

"What if I did this? What if I did this and they saw me? What if they're hunting me down? What am I supposed to do?"

Every question is left in the air, answers still needed, but there's no one else here that can give him the answers that he needs or wants. He's on his own. Again. He looks down at his notebook and opens up to the first empty page that he can. He writes down a couple notes about what happened to Techno's house and then he moves onto his own house. The door is half-open. He pauses at the entrance and looks in. And for a moment there, he can see glowing paint on the wall in the house. It looks familiar, like something that he's seen in a dream. But he blinks and there's nothing on the walls, just darkness. Walking in, he turns on the lights and looks around what's left of his home. It turns out that he's been gone for a while because his place has been ransacked. Everything that was in the house has been turned inside out. Even the basement has been torn to shreds. But there are piles of paper in the corner and as Ranboo gets closer, he realizes that they're written on too.

It's a familiar script, looking like the things that he found in his notebook. Each page is covered in text, the other side covered in smiley faces. His hand shakes as he picks up the paper and looks at it. He stuffs one of the pages into his own notebook, just to keep for later if he gets a chance to try and decode the language.

"Not like you'll have any luck if all the resources that Phil and Techno had are burned and gone now," he mutters to himself, looking down at the paper again, trying to look at the symbols and find anything that matches up.

\--- .⎐⍙⍾⏚⟟☊⏚⍾⏃ ⋔⌿⏚ ⋏⍙ ⌿⏚☊⋉⏚ ⋔⌿⏚ ⋔⌰⍾⌿ ⏚⏃☊⍀ ☌⋔⌿⏚ ⏚☊⟊ ,⏃⋔⎍⟟⍜ ⎐☊⋏ ⋔⟊ ⎐⟟☍ ⏃⋔⌰⍙☍ ---

He traces his finger over the _eight_ neat lines of text on the page. Someone took their time with this, making sure that everything was measured out just right. These weren't scribbled lines of text, weren't just nonsense thrown on there. They served a purpose. And based on the symbols, it was probably him. He did this.

But how?

Ranboo presses his hands to his head for a second, trying to will any part of his brain to kick in and tell him where he went, but in the silence of the basement, he doesn't hear anything...until he does.

"Hello," Dream's voice is soft and calm, friendly almost.

"No, no, no, no," Ranboo says, "I can't be hearing you again. I'm not in the panic room. There's no music playing. You're locked up in the jail and I'm safe-"

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm safe. I'm alone here in my house and I'm safe."

"What about what happened to Techno's house?"

Ranboo is quiet for a long moment, thinking about that. "That was-"

"Do you know? Were you here? Where were you, Ranboo?"

"I don't...know. You know this. You always know everything about me."

"I don't know everything about you, Ranboo. You know everything about yourself, you just have to remember it. So where were you? Where were you? Remember. Think about it and remember. Remember. Remember. Remember.

_Remember_

_Remember_

_Remember_

_Remember_

_Remember_

_Remember_

_Remember_

_Remember_

\--- .⋔⋔⏃ ⎐⟟☍ ⋔⌿ ⌇⎐⍾⌿⏚ ⏚'⎐⍙⌰ ☊⍙☌ ⋏⍾ ⎐⋔⎅⋔ ,⏃⍜⎐⍾⋉⏚⏃ ⋔⌿⏚ ⏃⏁⏁☊⌖ ⋔⌿ ⏃⟟ ⟒⍙⎐ ⍜⎐⍾⌿☍⏚⟟⟒ ⏃'⋔⌿ ,⌰⋔⋔⎐ ☊⍙☌ ⏃⏚⎐⍾⌿ ⋔⌿⏚ ☊⍙☌ ⎐⋔⎅⍾⍜ ⋔⎅'⍾ ---

Ranboo opens his eyes and he's still in his basement, curled up in a corner, the lights are off again and his face stings. He must have been crying. He tries to walk back through everything that's happened. He was in the basement, he found the papers, he heard...Dream again, and then...

It's blank again. There's nothing in his notebook, but he thinks it's safe to assume that he didn't leave the house. He stayed down here. Maybe he passed out?

"You're awake," Dream's voice says.

But then Ranboo realizes that it isn't in his head. It's in front of him. He's staring at the ground and there are feet in front of him. He looks up and sees the mask, the smile that's been haunting him for months. "Dream?"

"I thought we agreed that we were going to meet at the other place?"

"We- What?" Ranboo scrambles to his feet, feeling for his weapons. They're on him like always and he feels a little more at ease. But he's seen Dream fight. He knows that he doesn't stand a chance if Dream decides he's done here and now.

Dream is silent for a long moment. "Well, I knew your memory problems were getting worse, but I didn't think it would be this bad when I saw you next. Come on, Ranboo, you're the one that promised to help me after I was out of the prison and here I am, so there's a lot to do."

"I promised you that? When?"

Dream reaches into his pocket and pulls out a notebook. It's familiar, worn, and bent just a little. He holds it out to Ranboo. "When you saw me last. You wrote it down in here."

Ranboo's hand shakes only a little when he takes the notebook from Dream. He skims the pages that he knows, the descriptions of the days that he spent after the end of L'manberg. It has notes from not just one, not just two, but at least three different trips to the prison. Ranboo lingers on the pages, trying to remember back to those days, but it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. And then he stops and looks at Dream.

"What did you do to me?"

"I didn't do anything to you."

"Then why do I forget things and...change whenever I see that smiley face?" Ranboo's clutching the book in his hands like it's going to bring him any comfort at all, but there's nothing in that book that's going to make him feel happier with what's going on. "This didn't start happening like this until I got here. I went through something traumatic before and would just lose track of a couple minutes and could live a normal life...but then I came here to get away from things that reminded me of that event...I think. And after I came here, I started having more and more memory problems. And it's connected to your smiley face."

Dream shrugs his shoulders.

Ranboo stares at the mask and waits. "Is that it? A shrug? You're not even going to think about it?"

"I have other things to worry about right now. We can work on your memory problems later. We need to get away from this area. I was going to lead you back to my house since you've never been there before." Dream walks to the ladder and then climbs up it, not bothering to look back.

Ranboo stands in the basement of his house, looking around at all the things that were destroyed. He glances towards the back corner, the wall is intact there, smooth stone still. Whoever did this wasn't looking for precious things, he realizes, this was about something else, something that he wouldn't have thought was precious, something that didn't matter to him like he was right now.

But whatever it was, it had meaning to the part of him that remember, to Dream. And he has a chance to stop Dream from destroying people further if it means following him and stopping his plans from the beginning. It's a longshot, he realizes, and it might be playing into someone else's hand again, but what choice is there? Dream has armor and weapons again. If he doesn't follow, Dream will just destroy him and his home.

Dream was the start of so much. And Dream will be the key to ending it once more.

\---?⌿⏚☊⋉⏚ ⋔⌿⏚ ☊⍙☌ ⌰⏁⍙⏚ ⍾ ⎐⋔⌿⟒ ⏚⍾ ⌰⟟⋔⋉⏃⍾⎍ ☊⍙☌ ⌰⍾⌰ ⋉⍙ ---

\---

Techno comes up and out from underground, holding his hand up to block the light that's trying to get into his eyes. He didn't think that the stronghold would make his eyes that sensitive to the light, but here he is, squinting up at the daylight. Phil follows along behind Techno and lets out a noise of annoyance when he walks into the light. "At least we know that no one has found the real base," Phil says, as he directs his attention back to the area where Techno's house once stood. There are still smoldering remains there now. Techno stares at it for a long moment before sighing and looking away.

"It's a shame that we won't have that home anymore. I was...attached to it. Did you see who was the one that set it on fire?"

Phil shakes his head. "I was too far away. There were several figures near the house, but I couldn't make out who was who."

Techno makes a hmm sound and then he turns his attention back to the immediate area. "They were telling us to stop."

Phil nods. "Us trying to help Ranboo, us getting involved, all of it. They were telling us to stop getting involved."

Techno sighs and adjusts his weapons. "I guess that means that we're just going to have to get even more involved. I don't like it when people try to tell me what I can't get involved in after all."

"Alright, mate," Phil says with a small chuckle. "You know I'll follow you into a battle like this, regardless. We're going to need every ally we can find."

"Goin' to be hard to trust any of them at this point. But let's...go look at the remains of the house. I know that we got all the important things, but I just want to check it out." Techno walks towards the remains of his house. When he's near it, he pauses, studies the way that it burned down, figuring out where the fires started and how they tore apart the house. He slowly moves the debris away from the site of the house, looking for anything that would have survived the flames that could have been used to send a message. But there isn't anything. There is nothing in this pile of things, just the remains of an attempt at a quiet life.

Techno walks past the remains of his house and to Ranboo's house. It's untouched on the outside but the inside has been ransacked. The chests are open, the hatch that leads to the other basement is open and everything down there is torn apart, worse than anything that he had done on his own in the past. He looks through all the items until he finds papers and notebooks in one chest. Some of the notebooks look familiar, worn down versions of a notebook that Ranboo carried with him everywhere that he went, but the papers in the chest are more interesting.

Techno pulls some out and flips through them, finding that page after page after page is filled with nothing but hastily drawn smiley faces. He flips through all the papers that he can, but every page is the same as the last. That is all there is. And so Techno throws the papers off to the side. He flips through the empty notebooks, looking for anything that he can use, but there's nothing written in any of them, just spares for when Ranboo needed more, he guesses. He sighs and sets everything down and gets out of the base. There's nothing there, nothing that's going to help them figure out what's going on. There's just more of the same. There's just more destruction, more things pointing at Dream.

"Could Dream have really done this to the kid?" Techno asks as he walks back towards the entrance to the base that they're going to be living in for the foreseeable future. "There's nothing but smiley faces in the basement of that house and it looks like they were scribbled in a hurry."

Phil tilts his head. "He took the time to draw a whole bunch of smiley faces in the basement?"

"I can't question the kid," Techno says, "So for now, I believe the answer is yes. But he's not there. It looks like the place was robbed, but I don't know what to make of it. There's nothing burnt there."

Phil looks at Techno and then gestures down into the stronghold. "Let's get a gameplan," he says, "We can't do this without a plan."

Techno walks down. "A plan to do what? Kill Dream finally and hope it stops there?"

Phil follows. "If that's what it takes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _  
>  **i zaws ysfs fzpfutziou d ggimh ec pedl zcp xzs uvfhd, bmt ec tsm pfptsre ee?**   
>  _
> 
> _  
> **j kjydro'x.**  
> _
> 
> __  
> **ycp wzeo vz'w zoe xss lef tis rlgzf xtaa.**  
>  i hope you're having fun :)
> 
> i certainly am :)

**Author's Note:**

> I meant for this to be a one-shot, but it's turning out to be a bit longer than I thought, but not too long. I'll be updating when I can. I am just full of thoughts about Ranboo and what is going to happen to his character in canon in the future.


End file.
